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07-12-2011   #41 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kale15
this is my issue with this story, and I'll explain it with a story of my own:

You park your car at a meter, then without putting any money in it proceed to jaywalk across a semi-busy street to the coffee shop. You walk to the front of the line and place your order without even acknowledging the 4 people you walked past. You then receive and pay for your order walking out the door shoving past a man on crutches. You then proceed to jaywalk back to your car and get ready to leave. I then come up and without saying a word whap you 5 times on the butt with a hockey stick. Why did I spank you?

punishment without explanation isn't punishment, it's just abuse. In some instances like this almost arson like case, physical punishment could be a good response. Without explaining why the child won't understand what they did wrong, they will just think that their parent will hit them.

Oh, and the reason I spanked you was cause you didn't leave a tip.
The kid is 13, he had just gotten finished with setting his lawn on fire. I think he can put two and two together. Also, none of the mildly annoying things in the story even hold a match to setting the front lawn on fire.

Last edited by MsSquid; 07-12-2011 at 02:05 PM. Reason: puns
 
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07-12-2011   #42 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NiBo
Well you can leave him without TV, computer, games for a very long time. Lock him in a room without anything to play with instead of hitting. I've seen teenagers on super nanny, also, the interventions are different and work, too.
Let's see... A kid set fire to his lawn just because he "wanted to". That situation could've gotten way out of hand, and the fire would've burned down more than just the grass in the front yard if the firetrucks didn't step in on time. Yeah, taking away TV privileges is a suitable punishment for his serious misconduct. Yeah.

The kid is old enough to think on his own, and so, deserved every bit of those spankings.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NiBo
It's unfair, a kid being hit by someone bigger and stronger than him/her 'cause of something bad s/he did.
The "bigger and stronger" person here is the boy's momma. She had all the right to discipline the kid with the belt for nearly burning down the house.
I'd surely be beaten too if I were to almost set my house on fire.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NiBo
An adult doesn't get hit by his/her boss if s/he does something wrong at work, s/he's warned or fired.
Are you seriously comparing a wrongdoing at work to a potential house-fire?
 
07-12-2011   #43 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lol
i actually dont know what this rant is about
Also, this. I kind of want to spank the OP because his post is so vague and he still hasn't stated whether he thinks the spanking or the fire is outrageous.
 
07-12-2011   #44 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Veloze
Let's see... A kid set fire to his lawn just because he "wanted to". That situation could've gotten way out of hand, and the fire would've burned down more than just the grass in the front yard if the firetrucks didn't step in on time. Yeah, taking away TV privileges is a suitable punishment for his serious misconduct. Yeah.

The kid is old enough to think on his own, and so, deserved every bit of those spankings.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NiBo
Lock him in a room without anything to play with
If he can think on his own then now he knows that setting the lawn on fire is wrong, also, and wouldn't need to be spanked to learn.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Veloze
The "bigger and stronger" person here is the boy's momma. She had all the right to discipline the kid with the belt for nearly burning down the house.
I'd surely be beaten too if I were to almost set my house on fire.
Without telling him the REASON he got punished?


Quote:
Originally Posted by NiBo
Are you seriously comparing a wrongdoing at work to a potential house-fire?
Yes. Use your head, yell at your mom and she'll very likely hit you, yell at your boss and he WON'T hit you, he'll fire you instead. Set your work place on fire is a wrongdoing at work, also.
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Last edited by NiBo; 07-12-2011 at 03:18 PM.
 
07-12-2011   #45 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NiBo
If he can think on his own then now he knows that setting the lawn on fire is wrong
Exactly, he knows and went along and did it anyways. Because he wanted to.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NiBo
also, and wouldn't need to be spanked to learn.
He'd still get spanked. Burning down the house is a no-no.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NiBo
Without telling him the REASON he got punished?
Even a kid like him would know why he's getting his ass belted.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NiBo
yell at your boss and he WON'T hit you, he'll fire you instead.
Physical discipline from a parent is different from physical discipline from your boss. Your boss can't hit you. He/she has no legal right to, and would probably go to jail if he/she did. Your parents, however, can.
...In an act of discipline, of course.
 
07-12-2011   #46 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NiBo
Yes. Use your head, yell at your mom and she'll very likely hit you, yell at your boss and he WON'T hit you, he'll fire you instead. Set your work place on fire is a wrongdoing at work, also.
Legally, your boss CAN'T hit you. Legally, your mom can. Not only could the boss fire you, but he could sue you, which is the most/worst punishment he could do to you right? What's the worst punishment a mother could do? Hitting her kid for setting the lawn on fire is the most or worst she could do.

I'm not saying that what you're saying is wrong, and for some cases that is the appropriate punishment. Setting the lawn on fire? How about we hit him, send him to his room with no anything and then explain -for people thinking that he needs an explanation for why he got hit at 13 years old with a properly functioning brain as I hear lol- why this is all happening. Just in case he doesn't get it.

Edit: Was beaten to it xD Still applies though lol
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07-12-2011   #47 (permalink)
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I re-read the post and Justice's right, it is ambiguous. In any case...

Sounds like that kid is the annoying "bad boy trouble making" type, as it doesn't look like he has any mental problems or something. Deserves the beats, and something like being grounded for a month or something.

There's a fine line between abuse and discipline with hitting your children. Hitting them with something that will not scar them, seriously injure them, and what not for doing something bad, is not abuse. Obviously the child will be told, or understands what they did wrong. Physical discipline should be used at the right times too for the right situation. If they just did something like draw on the walls, it's usually not justified. If it's something serious like beating someone else up, then yes, the right place and the right time.

Now, in this 13 year old's case...That's like grade 8. He is aware. He can think. He understands most of the rules of society. He does not have any mental issues. It should be clear as day that setting his lawn on fire is not ok. But he did it anyway just cause "he felt like it." Everything points to: "I just did it for shits and giggles iderncare LOL!" which is exactly the type of kids who need to be set straight.
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07-12-2011   #48 (permalink)
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Actually using violence only would be right if it was to stop him if he was burning the lawn, not after he already did it. Then dunno, then lock him in the bedroom for a long time after telling him the reason to make sure he knows it.
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07-12-2011   #49 (permalink)
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The issue here is that they know it's wrong, they just don't care. They do it anyway cause they think they're king of the world or something. It doesn't matter what you do to get them to realize it's wrong, because they already know it is wrong.

Try to tell a thief stealing is wrong all you want. They know it is, they won't stop until they're put in jail, or learn their lesson from it.
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07-12-2011   #50 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RoflKnife
I re-read the post and Justice's right, it is ambiguous.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Revali
Now don't you think that's a bit outrageous for someone to do some type of shit like that?
It actually is. "Outrageous" is the spanking or almost burning the whole house to the ground?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Revali
But this is where it gets good; The mother came home, she just got out the car, WITH a belt, and started spanking him.
And wth was that woman doing away from home at night, leaving a disturbed (wouldn't burn everything if he wasn't) kid alone?
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07-12-2011   #51 (permalink)
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Quick question how bad did the mother beat the child and if my own child lit my lawn on fire gauranteed he's getting an ass whooping when I get home. Hell if you let him get off the hook with something like this theres a good chance he could do it again and maybe really set your house on fire
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07-12-2011   #52 (permalink)
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Let's put this into perspective:

The lawn fire has potential.
Potential to do what? Spread.
Spread to what? To your house and neighbors' houses.
What will it do once it reaches your and your neighbors' houses? Burn them.
What can potentially happen from the burning of the houses? The neighbors and/or your child can either be killed or survive.
What if they die or survive? If they die, this is potentially on you, the parent, paying for funeral costs or hospital bills, damages, pain and suffering, and possibly pay a large fine or even jail time (depending on where you live). You may also be sued left and right from your illegitimacy and neglect of supervising your child, be it by not being home or not asking for a babysitter.

Ways to handle it:
Talking/Yelling and screaming? The child can easily shrug off yelling and screaming. It's called 'tuning out,' saying 'blah blah blah' within his/her head while you rant and rave. But nooooo, you won't hit your child. Not. Even. Once. Even after saying that he 'felt like' setting the lawn on fire.

The guy's 13, said to have no mental illnesses or psychological defects of any sort. He knows damn well about right from wrong, unless he's like...raised like a gnat. They can't shrug off a spanking yet. And you tell them one word why they're getting their butts beat with each smack.

TL;DR
: Spanking with meaning is not abuse, just like how rapping with meaning doesn't make my ears bleed. However, we don't know what the mother said when she approached the child, IF she even said anything. At the same time, the child's 13, has no mentioned mental defects, and, on top of it all, said he 'felt like it.' They can easily tune out shouting and screaming punishments. They can't tune out a proper butt whooping. Seeing the chaos he caused, he may not even need an explanation for what he did.

Time-out methods are effective, no doubt, but at that moment in time, that would be too light. With the world as it is, there shouldn't be too much sugar-coating once you reach 13. The time to get ready then is now.
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07-12-2011   #53 (permalink)
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^Then any murderer who killed 5657890 people should be tortured before going to a max. security prison. The kid obviously has a problem, "Because I wanted to" isn't what actually made him burn everything, there's a lot of stuff that he just didn't say. If the "want" was then he is a psycho, will do anything that comes to his head.
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07-12-2011   #54 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NiBo
And wth was that woman doing away from home at night, leaving a disturbed (wouldn't burn everything if he wasn't) kid alone?
Ehh? But he's 13. I'm sure the mom left thinking that a 13 year old is perfectly capable of staying home alone without burning anything down; that's like, the first thing you learn when being left alone: Fire is dangerous, don't light crap on fire, it WILL kill you if it has the chance. If the mother knew that the kid is disturbed enough to possibly start a fire, I'm sure she wouldn't have left him.

I think.

I can only assume she wouldn't, since she seems smart enough to beat him after what he did lol.
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07-13-2011   #55 (permalink)
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Stop trying to compare punishments to an adult and a kid.

Adults have a different mind than kids. A kid's mind is rather soft and can be changed, while most adults have a hardened mind and hard to be changed.

To teach a kid, you HAVE to send a message. Telling them ain't enough. And considering he went "I burned the lawn for the lulz", he'd probably just ignore the scolding.
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Last edited by Kisaragi; 07-13-2011 at 04:31 AM.
 
07-13-2011   #56 (permalink)
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And the message should more rational, what I picture is someone letting a lot of anger out on a kid but nevermind, I don't care anymore, better them than me. I'd rather apply behaviorism stuff as soon as possible than whooping my kids' butts when they're older, if I have any that is.
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07-15-2011   #57 (permalink)
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I've got the guillotine sharpened and ready to go out back guys. When heads start to roll this kid will learn he can't have his cake and eat it too.
 
07-26-2011   #58 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SlowBro
ITT abusive parents in the making
ITT arsonist in the making.

I'd rather there be 1000 more abusive parents in this world than 1 arsonist.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Routine
I'ono, my parents never once hit me and yet I don't go around setting lawns on fire.

Though in that case I really can't help but feel the kid deserved it.
That's because Polish people know how to discipline their children better than American parents.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Settie
I agree with Vith here. You should never, ever hit your child, no matter what they do.
If I were this mother, I would be furious, but would have a very long talk with the kid(most likely yell at him/her), it's obvious he's going through some sort of "stage", or that he's really angry at something. Sure, it's not an excuse for setting something on fire, but it could be the real reason why he did it.

Spanking and physical discipline isn't the answer. You should punish your children with words(nothing mean, though.) and teach them what's wrong, and if they do something that could be a danger to them, you open up and tell them how you feel, how it effects you, or how you would feel if they were seriously injured by their actions/if they were to die by the actions. You should also look back at when you were their age. Going through "the change" brings up all sorts of angst, and everyone deals with the anger differently.
I know when I was around that age, I was just angry at everything. I never did anything this severe, but I have run away a few times, but after learning how my mother felt about it, I stopped being like that, and straightened up.

Typical spoiled American child logic.
Your opinion is automatically invalid because Americans are horrible at raising their kids.


Quote:
Originally Posted by NiBo
Well you can leave him without TV, computer, games for a very long time. Lock him in a room without anything to play with instead of hitting. I've seen teenagers on super nanny, also, the interventions are different and work, too.
The thing is: treat kids as people. I mean, criminals aren't hit until they learn (sentence of death is out of question since it depends on the area), they go to jail, locked in cells mostly (there's those prisons where a lot of them stay in a big room with beds and stuff).
It's unfair, a kid being hit by someone bigger and stronger than him/her 'cause of something bad s/he did. An adult doesn't get hit by his/her boss if s/he does something wrong at work, s/he's warned or fired.
A maniac burns an entire house to the ground, he goes to jail, having just the basic stuff to live, and he know why he's there. Something similar should be done with the kid.
That's sick.

You wouldn't hit the child, but you'd lock them in a room like some sort of caged animal? Now THAT'S abuse, ladies and gents.

I can just imagine the sort of emotional long-lasting trauma I would experience if my parents chose to lock me in a room over spanking me when I misbehaved.
 
07-26-2011   #59 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Griever
ITT arsonist in the making.

I'd rather there be 1000 more abusive parents in this world than 1 arsonist
That's like saying you don't want any pollution in the water and then proceeding to say you dump toxic waste in it everyday.
 
07-26-2011   #60 (permalink)
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I agree with Griever only on the point of locking the child away.

I mean, locking a child away as opposed to punishment via spanking. That doesn't sound like abuse?

Spanking is temporary pain. Locking away a child will leave lifetime mental scars. It's more unfair for a child to be locked away for a long period of time.

So, the mother did the right thing. Period.
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Dragon's Call
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Dragon's Call

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