ggFTW

MMORPG Gamer Community


Go Back   ggFTW Forum > Off Topic > Rant Forum

Elsword
Looking for a new MMO?

Try 

Elsword

Rating:  

8.7

 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
07-20-2012   #1 (permalink)
ggFTW Moogler
TsveTokSmirTi's Avatar
Games
Trickster Online
Awards Facebook Fan
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 121
iTrader: (4)
TsveTokSmirTi has a spectacular aura aboutTsveTokSmirTi has a spectacular aura about
IGN: Edanomel-Deum
Class: Witch/SM to_sheep
Guild: [~Amour~]
Default Introverted people

I just really want to get something off my chest because it's some feelings I've been dealing for a long while now and need someplace to put them. Feel free to read if you want to, or don't if you aren't interested, I don't really care.

So pretty much for as long as I can remember I've always been "introverted" as some people might say. I don't really dislike people, but I also don't want to be around them all the time, even if I don't know them. Most of the time I'd rather be doing something quietly by myself than with others, and I can't really help it. I also really don't like to speak. I have no clue why, and it's not like I can't talk or anything, I just usually only talk when I have a reason to, other than that I'm generally an extremely quiet person.

Anyway, these characteristics about myself(among others I haven't mentioned) have really been bothering me lately. Almost all of my close friends are really extroverted. They always have something to say, what's on their mind, news about something in their life, and so on. This bothers me because it makes me feel like I'm way too quiet or solitary. I'm scared that it's going to be hard for people to really get to know me closely or form any sort of bond because I'm just so quiet and keep to myself most of the time, even though I'm most comfortable and happy being like this. I'm scared that when I do manage to become close with somebody it's going to be hard for me to show them how I really feel, that I might push them away with my apathetic personality, and I wouldn't know what to say or do to bring them in.

These thoughts come to mind because I already have managed to make three really close friends(after not really having any for a while) These people are important to me, and I care about them and enjoy spending time with them, but I hardly ever show signs of these feelings. They ask me all the time, "are you okay?" or "are you bored with us or something" and as much as I reassure them that I don't have a single problem with them, that they're my best friends, I still feel as if they think I dislike them in someway or like they don't trust me.

I just don't really know what to do. I feel like I need to be more outgoing and positive and it's hard for me because I've also just recently started to get better from my major depression and anxiety issues, and it also just isn't who I am. My friends and I have so much in common except the fact that they're much more social and talkative than I am. It isn't just about them either, I feel like my personality doesn't help my relationship with my mom at all. Shes does a lot for me, and I love her so much but it's so hard for me to show any appreciation or love, even though I feel it.

I just don't know how I'm going to live and not always be lonely when it's my nature to keep myself distant from people, as much as I hate that feeling. I'm terribly scared of being alone, but it's like I'm the one who makes it happen. I guess it's just something I need to think on and figure out myself.

__________________
Swallow your pride, because silence is golden, and I wouldn't pay a penny to hear your thoughts.
 
Get rid of this ad by registering for our community.
07-20-2012   #2 (permalink)
Nonsense
Nebula's Avatar
Games
Trickster Online
Awards Event WinnerWandering Eye
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: The lower troposphere.
Posts: 1,022
Blog Entries: 8
iTrader: (12)
Nebula has a reputation beyond reputeNebula has a reputation beyond reputeNebula has a reputation beyond reputeNebula has a reputation beyond reputeNebula has a reputation beyond reputeNebula has a reputation beyond reputeNebula has a reputation beyond reputeNebula has a reputation beyond reputeNebula has a reputation beyond reputeNebula has a reputation beyond reputeNebula has a reputation beyond repute
IGN: Enthalpy/ Reminder
Class: Duelist to_bunny
Guild: Guardians
Default

I am currently a mixture of introvertedness and extravertedness; at least I am that on the outside.
About two years ago, I was more of an introvert. I had to main friends at highschool and knew a few other people. I never really talked to anyone unless they talked to me first.

Then after highschool finished, I got myself a job as a cashier in a supermarket. Since I wanted to do the best job I could (so I did not get fired or whatever) so I had to learn how to make a conversation with a person I knew absolutely nothing about. Now-a-days I just have a routine that I have developped but when I started, I almost found that I could do it naturally.

So then I started college a few months later. The first few days were scary, I knew basically no one. One day a girl sat next to me and we became friends. Since then I have made many friends and even introduced a fair few people. I am starting to understand the first few steps to approaching someone without knowing them but I sometimes cannot bring myself to do it.

So if you want to be friends with someone, there is no harm in approaching them and getting to know them , the worst that can happen is that they have no interest in you.

I am still a bit confused about myself, I am equally happy with doing things with others as I am doing things alone. Really I am not sure which one I am. Those who have known we for 2+ years would say I am an introvert. Those who have known me for less than two years would think I was an extrovert. I was not sure which one I want to be the most. I think I am still afraid of what people think of me if I say or do something odd.

One of my really shy friends does best when she is only with one other person. When we are in a group of 5, 3-4 of us would do the talking and she would do the listening. I feel as if I need to include her. However when it is just me and her we can have some very nice conversations. Maybe you are one of these people?
__________________
 
07-20-2012   #3 (permalink)
ggFTW Addict
Degoutant's Avatar
Games
Trickster Online
Awards Facebook Fan
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 223
Blog Entries: 14
iTrader: (5)
Degoutant is a splendid one to beholdDegoutant is a splendid one to beholdDegoutant is a splendid one to beholdDegoutant is a splendid one to beholdDegoutant is a splendid one to beholdDegoutant is a splendid one to beholdDegoutant is a splendid one to behold
Send a message via Skype™ to Degoutant
IGN: Shannus
Class: Raccoon to_raccoon
Default

I believe you're more of a shy person than introverted, no? Because the Introverted enjoy the loneliness, while you're afraid of being alone.
Anyhow, I can't really offer you any helpful advice but I can tell you're not the only person. I do feel with you, because I am sort of a shy person. Not introverted. I'm somewhat shy. I try to be outgoing, I try to be more talkactive and I try to sympathisize with others. Especially the people I do not know.
My main problem is that I care too much about what others think of me.
I am afraid that people either will think I'm weird or scary, if I talk too much about random stuff or being all quiet will cause the impression of arrogance and I wouldn't want that. It would be also very awkward to be around them, so I rather try it at least (to talk with them like about same interests, gossip, random jokes), even though that's not really me for the time being, but trust me, it will become more comfortable.

I'd try harder to help you, but I am honestly too tired right now. ):
__________________
follow me oninstagram: shannus

Last edited by Degoutant; 07-20-2012 at 04:20 PM.
 
07-20-2012   #4 (permalink)
MARINA
Versalia's Avatar
Games
Trickster OnlineEden EternalLeague of Legends
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,380
iTrader: (37)
Versalia has much to be proud ofVersalia has much to be proud ofVersalia has much to be proud ofVersalia has much to be proud ofVersalia has much to be proud ofVersalia has much to be proud ofVersalia has much to be proud ofVersalia has much to be proud ofVersalia has much to be proud ofVersalia has much to be proud of
IGN: Versalia
Default

John, you can always talk to me about anything<: ./cough even though we hardly talk anymore.
__________________


_____________________
League of Legends NA Versalia
Aura Kingdom Siren Versalia & Zynnia & Vynnia

 
07-22-2012   #5 (permalink)
Benevolent Misfortune
Games
Ragnarok OnlineTrickster OnlineGunboundLa Tale
Awards Retired Content StaffEvent WinnerSotW BeginnerPervert Award
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,484
iTrader: (0)
Sanichi has much to be proud ofSanichi has much to be proud ofSanichi has much to be proud ofSanichi has much to be proud ofSanichi has much to be proud ofSanichi has much to be proud ofSanichi has much to be proud ofSanichi has much to be proud ofSanichi has much to be proud ofSanichi has much to be proud of
IGN: Sanichi
Class: Scholar
Level: 50
Guild: FrenchBread
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyEl
I am currently a mixture of introvertedness and extravertedness; at least I am that on the outside.
Combining the two, wouldn't just make you a regular person?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TsveTokSmirTi
I still feel as if they think I dislike them in someway or like they don't trust me.
EDIT: On topic though, I would say you shouldn't be afraid to excommunicate your internal feeling if only to explain yourself for people to understand. It might not seem like much, simply stating it once rather than excommunicating it all the time, but, people still quite grateful to know your personal feelings. if you give that one push, you might find great results. Even in relationships with might be building, creating stronger friendships and you might even find yourself in personal relations with a girl you might like, but, stayed at the fringes of friendship. Otherwise, I wouldn't say your friends don't trust you, but, they feel you don't trust them. Take some time to think and decide what you want to do. It's good you got this off your chest.
__________________

Last edited by Sanichi; 07-22-2012 at 05:17 PM.
 
08-01-2012   #6 (permalink)
ggFTW Lurker
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 16
Blog Entries: 1
iTrader: (0)
Navi is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Degoutant
I believe you're more of a shy person than introverted, no? Not introverted. I'm somewhat shy. I try to be outgoing, I try to be more talkactive and I try to sympathisize with others. Especially the people I do not know.

My main problem is that I care too much about what others think of me.
I am afraid that people either will think I'm weird or scary, if I talk too much about random stuff or being all quiet will cause the impression of arrogance and I wouldn't want that. It would be also very awkward to be around them, so I rather try it at least (to talk with them like about same interests, gossip, random jokes), even though that's not really me for the time being, but trust me, it will become more comfortable.

I'd try harder to help you, but I am honestly too tired right now. ):
THIS so much.
I am similar to this too. Thing is, I already know I'm shy and I'm fine with that. I'm not as out-going as my other friends, but I just think "well that's them. not me." But even if I AM shy, I do make efforts to be able to talk more, especially with people I don't know/people I've met for the first time. At first it was really hard for me. I was (or maybe still am up to now) not good at starting conversations but slowly I'm getting the hang of it.

I can't really give you advise since I'm no expert but maybe if you can see a chance to have a nice conversation with a person, grab it, say "hi", smile, and start from there.
 
08-01-2012   #7 (permalink)
Breaker of Time
Bolter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: District 8 of Lightning City
Posts: 5,574
iTrader: (7)
Bolter has much to be proud ofBolter has much to be proud ofBolter has much to be proud ofBolter has much to be proud ofBolter has much to be proud ofBolter has much to be proud ofBolter has much to be proud ofBolter has much to be proud ofBolter has much to be proud ofBolter has much to be proud of
Default

I used to be like you too, but then eventually I somehow got to open up slowly. So maybe, try something like joining in the conversation of your friends and think of something interesting to talk about. Know its hard, but it is possible
__________________
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Wizard 101
Need a new browser game?

Try 

Wizard 101

Rating:  

5.0
Hide this banner by registering for our community.