Day of Remorse
As my personal stalkers were aware yesterday was my 22nd birthday (or in minty's world my 21st and 22nd, she is now declared a time traveling witch). Now as it is May 20th for my region I wish to begin expressing my feelings of guilt. Here is my list of remorse in no particular order.
To the friends and family of the box of expired mustard bottles, I'm sorry. In my defense they were expired, so it was more of a mercy killing.
To the tree in my friend's front yard, I'm sorry. They wouldn't sell us the orange ones so the best we could do was blue.
To the koalas in Australia, I'm sorry. To be fair when I hear about you it's cause you're going blind from an STD.
To Minty, I'm sorry for declaring you a time traveling witch. If they try to burn you I will douse the flames, but you're on your own with drowning.
To the people that saw my naked butt and were offended, I'm sorry.
To the people that saw my naked butt and enjoyed it, You're welcome.
To the people that never saw my naked butt, I'm sorry.
To the lady with purple hair, I'm sorry. It's not my fault he said no.
To the country of Canada, I'm sorry.
To the people of Canada, I'm not sorry, but you should were shoes just so you don't step on it barefoot.
Finally to the street sofa, I'm sorry. You still know why it had to be done.