Originally Posted by Senpai
I guess the rapist had this image in mind when he was going for the raccoon.
Cut the poor guy a break, he's already going to be known as a raccoon rapist. No need to peg him as a pedophile too.
Seriously though the whole problem could have been avoided if he had bought the raccoon a few drinks first. Raccoons are notoriously slutty when they have a few drinks.
It took thousands, nay, millions of years for humankind to evolve to the point where its opposable thumbs allowed the species to finally achieve success in its tumultuous struggle to twist open a beer.
--The Official Harvard Student Agencies Bartending Course, 3rd Edition