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12-15-2011   #1 (permalink)
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Talking Random Jokes Thread

Nothing is safe from being joked on, not religion not social status
 
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12-15-2011   #2 (permalink)
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For the first one....this is not a joke, but it is something said
Timon: I am a jew....and my best friend is PIG
Olelly: I have better grammar than my English teacher, You are idiot, well said English teacher
 
12-15-2011   #3 (permalink)
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Did you know....
U.S. Nazi SEALs infiltrated the white house in attempt to assassinate the president Obama....did you get it?
 
12-20-2011   #4 (permalink)
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I was never allowed to carry a pocket knife, and I never cut myself using a pocket knife, but paper, so dangerous, I get myself cut a lot of times as a kid, you know what I'm sayin'
 
12-21-2011   #5 (permalink)
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Hi I am olelly

Last edited by olelly; 04-09-2012 at 07:33 AM. Reason: Didn't belong here
 
03-30-2012   #6 (permalink)
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heard this at work
what did the chicken say to the other chicken who sat outside all day ?
HEY FRIED CHICKEN!
 
04-09-2012   #7 (permalink)
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Talking

I play skyrim as a darn dirty lizard!
Guards speaking to me about how they used to be adventurers like me, until they took an arrow to the knee....
Bxtch PLEASE!!!
I take arrows to the head (O^O)

Last edited by olelly; 04-09-2012 at 08:28 PM.
 
05-12-2012   #8 (permalink)
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Couple texting:
Girl: Honey if you are sad, send me your tears, if you are sleeping, send me your dreams, if you are happy send me your smile
Boy: Im in the bathroom, do you want me to send you something?
 
06-12-2012   #9 (permalink)
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NIce one Ratera....now...

Define chaos in Skyrim....
It is when you are responsible for 100% of the damage done to the town but see the a man and a woman attempting to kill a child while she runs for her life
 
07-03-2012   #10 (permalink)
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The teacher says to the kid:
- Count me to 10 on Spain language
the kid says
- Uno, dos tres, cuatro
the teacher says
-continue
the kid says
-I know you want me.

uh if you know the song yu will understand it ..
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07-03-2012   #11 (permalink)
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Teacher: *points to a random student* You, what is the chemical formula for water?
Student: H I J K L M N O
Teacher: Wait wait... hold on, what are you saying? It's wrong.
Student: But yesterday you told us it's H to O.
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07-03-2012   #12 (permalink)
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A: Who is the coolest villain ever?
Spoiler!




D: Now, who is the hottest hero ever??
Spoiler!
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07-03-2012   #13 (permalink)
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Pardon me for the intrusion, this thread is fun
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07-04-2012   #14 (permalink)
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An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and

He turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

" Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.

"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death, when you don't know shit?"

And then she went back to reading her book.
 
07-04-2012   #15 (permalink)
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^ Oh that's easy. It's because it's more complicated to discuss things that actually exist~

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07-09-2012   #16 (permalink)
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My thread lives!
 
 

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