I am still thinking of my purpose in life (besides drawing). I keep wishing that I want to leave the human world and pass away to the "Golden Land" (or my version of heaven). I keep thinking on why I keep spending my "emergency money"... And the past letting me remember that my dad used to spend his hard-earned cash on us to make sure that we have a happy life. Now...I don't know if i'm really THAT happy. I keep hiding secrets and feelings toward my family because I hate to get them the wrong idea or think i'm even more lunatic. (Like hiding the evidence from my ************.... A certain word is censored out due to having minors in ggFTW. Also that again i'm not in part of any religion because I do not believe it and I guess I pretty much "signed to the devil" and believing that anything supernatural (such as magic) exist.) So I still felt scared and lonely, and can only show my crazy hyper side when i'm with the people I know @ the Student Life. Top of that i'm getting semi anti-social to those who are not on the anime bandwagon.
So yea. I've been crying (quietly) on the kitchen and blowing my nose. It's just sad that I only share this to a select few on my MSN and not someone not to far from me in real life.
Oh and getting sick and tired of lectures that doing one more lecture on me won't help.
Finally... I can live without money and if I have no ride, i'll get my way to go home by feet.