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05-11-2011   #1 (permalink)
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In April, my dad discussed with my step-mom about my joblessness situation, both wondering why and how do I not have a job yet ever since January. Both of them are fed up.

My dad then came to me one night, giving me a job deadline of the end of May. If it's not met by that time, I'm kicked to the streets. Homeless.

What I have been doing most of the time - between January and now - WAS look for jobs, even making phone calls all the while focusing on college work and volunteering at the animal shelter. My first semester of college wasn't all that great - my grades ranged from B and downward for all four classes; it was a lesson learned experience, and my grade for this semester express that: I got two A's and a B of the three classes I attended. Yet the stigma of the first semester is still behind this deadline.

As a side note, I was practically living in two places while attending college - between my dad's house and my grandmother and sister's house, because I could walk to campus from there. Both places, they have stuff for me to do as means for 'paying rent.' Not once did either my dad nor my step-mom even mildly help my attendance to college by driving to pick me up or drop me off, which put more stress on my sister and grandmother, especially with how gas prices are now. That being said, it'd really be nice if I had a car right now...

My dad believes that most of my friends are already living on their own and doing something with their careers, while I'm still here, living with my parents at the age of 19. He reasons that this friend, a really smart guy, is on his own now, and it's true. The truth, however, is that I'm not as bright nor as needy as he was, which was why he was accepted to the college he's going to in the first place. There goes that.

It's really my step-mom that influenced my dad to do this. The new rules that he gave me that night didn't sound like rules he would make up. Besides, she and I are not on the best of terms. She thinks that I'm lazy because I indeed play video games, and she 'doesn't like lazy men.' I don't like lazy women, either: she's either in her room on in the recliner upstairs, and in both places, she's watching these crap reality shows of Real Housewives or Big Brother, with a large dose of the OWN channel. But she says she cleans her room. I can see that, but can you at least help me clean the house you live in?!

I'm also starting to think that I could've been out of this bind easily if my brother didn't move away. He left my sister high and dry while he went crazy over this chick he met over the Internet, and they moved in together, which forced my sister to move in with my grandmother. Unfortunately, my brother's relationship ended horribly, and now he's stuck with my mother and her crap boyfriend a few hours away. The apartment that my bro and sis shared was spacious enough for one more to move in, even if it was a 2-bedroom apartment. I could've easily moved in to avoid this, but...oh well...

----------

Something isn't working out here. Is it really my fault that these jobs don't accept me, as my dad says? Or is he partially to blame for making a promise of supporting his children if we were to further our education? Or am I just some spoiled brat that has it all wrong? Do I need a reality check? Does the age difference between my dad/step-mom's generation and my generation factor in with their reasoning of finding a job? Am I not searching for a job hard enough? Must I show up in person even when they keep saying 'we only take applications online,' or should I keep with the phone calls?

All of these questions are maddening and have occupied my thoughts over the months. I'm tired of this.
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Last edited by Marzai; 05-11-2011 at 07:31 AM.
 
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05-11-2011   #2 (permalink)
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Just go to the mall and hand out your resume. Submitted applications online and making phone calls are much less effective. Just think about it, would you hire sometime that just gave you a phone call? Probably not. You're not even giving a first impression.

As for working while in college, most people work casually. It is very difficult to even find a job flexible enough to let you work part-time around your uni timetable.

Finding a job also takes time and some effort.
 
05-11-2011   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeR
Just go to the mall and hand out your resume. Submitted applications online and making phone calls are much less effective. Just think about it, would you hire sometime that just gave you a phone call? Probably not. You're not even giving a first impression.

As for working while in college, most people work casually. It is very difficult to even find a job flexible enough to let you work part-time around your uni timetable.

Finding a job also takes time and some effort.
That's the problem: the mall in this area is practically running out of businesses as we speak, and has become more of an elongated indoor walking area. I've gone to many places around town in person to hand out my application and resume, and I still do not have any calls coming. I dressed in a nice casual way, made sure I smelled good, gave a smile and firm handshakes. Most of the places that I've went to, unfortunately, say that I have to apply online anyways, which is pretty disheartening. Still, no calls...

The best bet of a mall that I have is well over 20 miles away, and that's too far for anyone transporting me is willing to go. Hence, why I really need a car right now.

As for time and college...it's been since January that I had my last job, and I've been looking ever since. The last job I had worked around my college schedule, and I still managed to pay for my books for Fall semester. Financial aid took care of the tuition.

Quote:
Average (mean) duration, in weeks(1)
33.1 34.2 36.9 37.1 39.0 38.3

Median duration, in weeks
21.6 22.4 21.8 21.2 21.7 20.7
The figures above are from the U.S. Department of Labor's Bureau of Labor Statistics, from Apr 2010, Dec 2010, and Jan~Apr 2011, respectively.

The average unemployment duration had a steady rise throughout those months, with 39.0 in March hopefully being at the peak. Either way, both the March and April averages are high up there. The median is what gives me a little bit of hope though. It's just with the average, and how long I've been out of work, I'm starting to believe they are as projected.
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Last edited by Marzai; 05-11-2011 at 11:07 AM.
 
05-13-2011   #4 (permalink)
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Usually I lurk around and not involve myself too much, but your story resonated with me a lot. My situation isn't precisely the same as yours, but my family is in a huge financial pinch, and I've been trying to push myself to find a job for a long time, even if my mom doesn't want me to.

As much as I'd like to comment on the conduct of your step-mother, I can't, because as long as you live under her and your dad's influence, there's not much that you can do until you can support yourself. One of those horrible "You live under my roof so you have to listen to me" sort of things.

For the job part though, I'd suggest going to your friends or relatives for help first, see if they have any connections or resources you can use. If you've already tried that route, there are other options.
Submitting a resume online is rather ineffective (unless you specifically see the store put up the website)--if you're interested in retail, it's better to just walk into a store and ask them straight up if they need help. Even if they don't, you can hand in your resume anyway just so they have it. If they ever put up a "help wanted" sign, give it to them again.
Also, now that summer is arriving fast, lots of summer programs will be seeking counselors, teacher assistants, etc. If you can find something like that to buy some time, then go for it.
Try going to odd places, like nursing homes, libraries, even restaurants, to see if they have openings. If you're really in a pinch, you can't be picky. More recently, I've heard that blogging is an OK way to make money, but I personally have no experience with it. I've poked around though, and Hubpages and AssociatedContent seem to be great places to start. Don't expect any quick cash though.

I don't think it's intrinsically your fault that no one is hiring you. However, keep in mind that your goal is to stand out from other applicants. Everyone and their dog has "good organizational skills," is a "quick learner," and "a good team player." Putting something like that down in a resume is just asking for a rejection. Employers want to look at a resume and see facts, followed by a unique human being who fits job qualifications.
Change your resume to fit each job that you want to take. Giving your "sales associate" resume to someone who wants a "tutor" is not the way to go.

Finding a job is hard, especially if you've never held a job before. It helps to read up on tips online (sometimes I skim articles that come up on my homepage). Most importantly, be confident in your skills and know what your skills can do for you. Don't let statistics discourage you. If you're fortunate enough to have a college education, you're already more qualified than 70% of people out there.

... I hope that helped. That ended up being really long. Q_Q

Edit: I wrote this when I was half asleep, so there are some other things I thought about (your situation really bothers me somehow u_u). I'd really like to think that your dad really won't kick you out, since you are his child after all, though I don't know the true depth of your relationship with him. If you can talk about it with him about it, would it help? And I know you and your step-mother aren't on the best terms, but it doesn't do anyone any good if you openly reveal that you dislike her (I don't know this either though). While you're still dependent, I really think there are laws preventing your parents from doing that, unless they want to force you on other relatives or something. It just seems wrong!!

And the other thing is about your grades. I don't think you should treat that as a negative experience. In fact, you improved the second semester because you learned from your mistake and truly wanted to do better. You can use the anecdote as a positive sign of your diligence, especially if it comes up in a job interview, or on your cover letter (I've actually never used one, but a lot of people want them when you apply for jobs..)
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Last edited by RaineScarlet; 05-13-2011 at 11:06 AM.
 
05-13-2011   #5 (permalink)
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If you get kicked out move in with your grandmother and sue your dad, he should be bound by law to give you payment until you're 26 (like i am).
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05-14-2011   #6 (permalink)
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As far as looking for a job, have you checked your college for any on-campus opportunities? I'm sure you can find a job as a student office assistant or something for some department. You might also be able to pick up a desk job in the office or something. Maybe even in the cafeteria for a janitorial position or something?

When you're looking for a job, you can't be picky and glamorous. If you have to clean bathrooms, then by all means. Money is still money.
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05-21-2011   #7 (permalink)
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Well, the worst of it all is that I recently found out that me staying at the house is non-negotiable with my step-mom, and she wants me gone by the 31st, permanently. So it doesn't matter if I find a job between now and the deadline.

I haven't stopped looking.
Because I've only had experience with Fast Food (namely, pizza), I've looked for jobs in the fast food industry, with my resumes fitting that category.

I could ask about the jobs my classmates are currently holding, and if I could use them as an inside reference. That could work.

I'm sure nursing homes could always use a helping hand.

I haven't looked for job opportunities at the college. I have before, but I was hired recently after that by my first job. I'll look there for it.

So, it would be good for me to put a cover letter with my applications or resumes? I'll see about it.

I don't have many notable skills, nor am I 'unique'. The only way to actually develop those skills at this point is by getting hired by anyone. I'm pretty sure 'being a good listener' isn't what anyone is looking for as a skill for an occupation, or the 'ability to speak with and relate to any social group' (those are not on my resumes). But I guess those 'skills' would be good as a Customer Service Representative, or something...

I'm not suing my dad over this. That's cruel.

I wouldn't mind holding a janitorial position. If that's going to be my next job, I'll hold on tight to it and be the best.
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05-28-2011   #8 (permalink)
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Well you know you have to get a job sooner or later so why not see if a friend can give you a place till you get on your feet.. its what i had to do until i found a income and hell i'm still here i pay them rent but hey we get along and it's not dull as living alone etc .-.
 

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