ggFTW

MMORPG Gamer Community


Go Back   ggFTW Forum > Off Topic > Life & Relationships

League of Legends
Looking for a new MMO?

Try 

League of Legends

Rating:  

8.3

 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
03-17-2011   #1 (permalink)
You're my prince... =)
Yumidesu's Avatar
Games
Dungeon Fighter OnlineLeague of LegendsLuniaTrickster Online
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: MS, US
Posts: 2,105
Blog Entries: 4
iTrader: (0)
Yumidesu has disabled reputation
Send a message via ICQ to Yumidesu Send a message via AIM to Yumidesu Send a message via MSN to Yumidesu Send a message via Yahoo to Yumidesu Send a message via Skype™ to Yumidesu
IGN: Amiez
Level: Bronze League
Guild: Titans
Xfire: pandaamy
Default Apologized to a friend, but it was an "insult".

So, yesterday, I told him he was clueless about doing something. That he had no idea what he was doing. He got defensive about it and we had a mini-fight.

Recently, he mentioned what I said yesterday. I apologized to him for it.

"I'm sorry that I said what I said yesterday. I should not have worded it like that, or even said it. I'm just used to having to deal with people that are rather harsh and aren't very bright, which is why I said that, I suppose. So, I apologize."

Response:

"Saying that makes me feel like you think I'm stupid."

My response:

"What I said yesterday, or the apology?"

His response:

"The apology."



So...I don't know what to do. I mean, I said something insulting to a good friend. I apologized for it the day after. But he's still insulted by an apology, because it makes him feel stupid? I don't know what to do now. I mean, I don't want to lose a friend or anything. But I apparently cannot do anything without insulting him.

Could someone offer some advice please?
 
Get rid of this ad by registering for our community.
03-17-2011   #2 (permalink)
ggFTW Moogler
tratout's Avatar
Games
Trickster OnlineVindictusPerfect WorldShaiya
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 102
iTrader: (0)
tratout has disabled reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yumidesu
> told him he was clueless about doing something
> He got defensive about it and we had a mini-fight.

> I'm just used to having to deal with people that are rather harsh and aren't very bright
Ouch. That does sound quite insulting.
Though I can see that you meant well.

You may be speaking too bluntly.
(A problem I had trouble with myself.)


Some people will take your words very personally. With that in mind, it's a good practise to pause and think about how you may want to phrase what you want to say.

Try beginning statements with "I" instead of "you" because that makes the person you're talking to feel less at fault.
  • I noticed you're having some trouble. Let me help you.
  • I'm not sure if that's right. Can I show you why?
When you think of it that way, your friend may had been more offended by how you said what you did instead of what you said.


Uh, here's a template for an apology you could try out if you'd like:

"I'm sorry that I made you feel stupid. I shouldn't had said those things. It's just sometimes I'm not sure how to say things and they come out bad. I really didn't mean to hurt you. [Insert reasons why you love your friend and why they are important to you.] Please forgive me. I'm not perfect but I'll try my best to not do this again. I'm sorry."
 
03-18-2011   #3 (permalink)
ggFTW Stalker
Nekcihc's Avatar
Games
Ragnarok OnlineGunboundTrickster OnlineIris Online
Awards Event WinnerSotW JuniorFacebook Fan
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Up on Melancholy Hill
Posts: 316
Blog Entries: 1
iTrader: (0)
Nekcihc is a glorious beacon of lightNekcihc is a glorious beacon of lightNekcihc is a glorious beacon of lightNekcihc is a glorious beacon of lightNekcihc is a glorious beacon of lightNekcihc is a glorious beacon of light
IGN: Beuregaurde
Class: Power to_boxer
Level: 1xx
Guild: Ignis Fatuus
Default

"I'm sorry that I said what I said yesterday. I should not have worded it like that, or even said it. I'm just used to having to deal with people that are rather harsh and aren't very bright, which is why I said that, I suppose. So, I apologize."

You should have left that out.
__________________
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Pockie Ninja
Need a new browser game?

Try 

Pockie Ninja

Rating:  

8.3
Hide this banner by registering for our community.