Originally Posted by Yumidesu
> told him he was clueless about doing something
> He got defensive about it and we had a mini-fight.
> I'm just used to having to deal with people that are rather harsh and aren't very bright
Ouch. That does sound quite insulting.
Though I can see that you meant well.
You may be speaking too bluntly.
(A problem I had trouble with myself.)
Some people will take your words very personally. With that in mind, it's a good practise to pause and think about how you may want to phrase what you want to say.
Try beginning statements with "I" instead of "you" because that makes the person you're talking to feel less at fault.
- I noticed you're having some trouble. Let me help you.
- I'm not sure if that's right. Can I show you why?
When you think of it that way, your friend may had been more offended by how
you said what you did instead of what
Uh, here's a template for an apology you could try out if you'd like:
"I'm sorry that I made you feel stupid. I shouldn't had said those things. It's just sometimes I'm not sure how to say things and they come out bad. I really didn't mean to hurt you. [Insert reasons why you love your friend and why they are important to you.] Please forgive me. I'm not perfect but I'll try my best to not do this again. I'm sorry."