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02-09-2011   #1 (permalink)
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Default School problems

I have a feeling I'm overusing this forum for stuff like this... well, anyway. Not really hoping to find a solution to my problems here, if I have yet to find it on the internet, but it's worth a shot, I guess.

Oh. Sorry for a tl;dr post, if anyone takes their time to actually read this, I'll be already grateful @@

Problem no. 1 - skipping school - I've went through the middle school (schooling system here: 6 years of elementary school + 3 years of middle school + 3 years of high school) mostly fine, with average grades, started skipping school in the middle of the 3rd year. It didn't really have a big impact on my grades, nor did the teachers care. I'm in the middle of my 1st year in high school now, wanted to actually go there every day, succeeded in it for about a month, then I started skipping again. I usually skip one day a week, teachers don't care either, but I get tired of the fact I don't know anything about homework or tests afterwards because I'm too scared to ask my classmates (don't ask why I'm scared, I don't know either, it's a different problem). Yet I can't seem to be able to force myself to not skip this one day.
I usually have troubles getting up, even though I don't go to sleep terribly late (10 PM or so), most of the time I can't fall asleep until after midnight, and I have to get up at 6:30. I can't really help falling asleep late, because I can't make parents go to sleep at the same time as me, and the lights, or them watching the TV till late bothers me.
Conclusion: I would like to stop skipping school, but I often feel overwhelmed by it, or simply too tired to go. Eventually too scared to go. This is the bottom of my problems, because if I don't know about tests/homework, I won't study.

Problem no. 2 - not studying enough - for me, most things we learn at school are goddarn boring. Perhaps they wouldn't be so boring if I wasn't force-fed the information. My grades aren't bad, they're rather average, but I have a problem with this, because I hate being average. And since I don't believe I can get better, I guess I stopped trying alotogether.
I actually tried studying for 1-2 hours each day for 2 or 3 weeks before my winter break. It worked, but I don't feel like I can do it anymore, for some reason. And with every bad grade I get, I feel like an idiot and a failure, feel like I don't deserve anything good in life.
Conclusion: I'd like to study more... no, I don't want to study more, but I want to get better grades. But I've got virtually no motivation. How do you make studying less boring?

Problem no. 3 - my Polish teacher - I used to like Polish back in the middle school, I've always had good grades, but our new Polish teacher is... well... I can't find a good word. But I keep feeling more and more lost in Polish classes, feeling that she wants me to do something I don't know how to do - and if me or anyone else fails to give the correct answer, she'd keep going on and on how we're not gonna get anywhere if we keep doing like this.
I'm supposedly good at writing, but I suck at interpreting poems, drawing conclusions and this kind of stuff. And it seems like no matter what I do I can't get good grades at Polish anymore. Example: we had to read a book and then write a test on it. I read the book, it was so boring I had to force myself thorugh it 30 pages a day, but I DID read it, still got a 2 from the test (on a 1-6 scale with 6 being the best). So what's the point reading the second volume of it now if it's just going to end the same way?
Conclusion: I've come to hate Polish classes and I have them almost every day, 6 hours a week, and I'm scared of the teacher.

Other than that, I'm just bored out of my mind most of the time at school, there's no subject I'd actually enjoy (even English or German, I love foreign languages, but the exercises we do are BORING) with exception for maybe knowledge of society (not sure if that's what it's called in English), because I like the teacher.

I want to find a way to make going through school less of a painful experience, or at least one that won't make me cry every evening, because that's how sick I've got of it. And I want to get better so I could stop thinking of myself as an useless, lazy piece of crap. Being bored to death at school or during studying is my biggest problem, I think.
 
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02-09-2011   #2 (permalink)
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Skipping school:
I was the same last year. But for one subject only, which meant some days (when I had only that one lesson) I'd not go to school at all. And I can understand how you feel about not wanting to ask/ being afraid to return.
However, the only way you can fix it is to force yourself to go. You've got to know what you want to achieve from school and strive to meet that goal. Even if it means getting screamed at when you return. Once you get into a solid routine, things will work themselves out and you can get back on top of it all.

Again, I'm the same about sleeping. I find it impossible to sleep early and I'll always be the last one to go to bed. But with this I've also got a routine so it doesn't affect me any more. If it's your parents that are keeping you up you should just tell them you need your sleep!

Studying:

I've never studied. And I feel awful that I'm that way. Being too easily distracted an having no motivation to actually do it means I never did - Until this year, where I've figure out ways that help me to keep focused for longer.
Try out different methods for studying and you'll see which ways work best for you. I've learnt it's definitely a necessity if you want to achieve better grades. No pain, no gain. It makes you more confident in exams and you will undoubtedly improve on the 'average' you're working at.
Studying with friends can make it easier too. Having people to help you along and fill in the missing bits. Find a way to make it fun.

Polish:
As I've already said above, you won't achieve anything if you put nothing in.
So you got less than you'd hoped for - strive to improve it. And the only way you can do that is to put in twice as much effort into the second volume. It might be boring as hell, but you have to do it for the subject, so there's no use complaining.
I'm reading a book I find boring in my English class at the moment. To work my way through it I have to make 'chapter notes' - listing key parts from each section of the book. If reading it is long-winded and boring for you, make as many notes as you can so you can learn it through the notes afterwards.

--
Overall, you've just got to keep going forward and try an work on the problems you have one at a time.
If you want to do well, put the effort in even if it bores you to death. Or really, what's the point in trying at all?

I hope you can work it out. In many ways my situation is very similar to yours, you just have to realise why you're doing it and what you want to get out of it.

Last edited by Aimee; 02-09-2011 at 12:30 PM. Reason: fixing loads of mistakes tehehe
 
02-09-2011   #3 (permalink)
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Problem #1
Try to push yourself to go to school. Even though you say teachers do not care, as a high school student, you should worry about your attendance. Teachers that take roll to see if you're here for participation can go on your record (for my school at least), which is bad for university applications. They'll see that you're a student who doesn't care about attending class and they'd rather give the student acceptance slot to someone else.
Of course, there are other factors and this is more towards the minor end.

If you can push yourself to go to school every day, you'll be good for university. You seriously do not want this type of habit to continue there. Missing one class can prove to be dangerous since professors expect you to be independent and aggressive if you miss something.

When I was in high school, I usually sleep between 12 ~ 1 AM and wake up at 6:30 AM. My body pretty much was adjusted to this time so it was okay for me.

You should try to tell your parents to sleep earlier. My parents tend to sleep earlier than my sister and me so I can't help there. :x

Problem #2
Study with friends tends to make the time go faster and helps you memorize things faster. You could also ask a friend to help tutor you so that you actually have to stay focused on the subject.

Since I know some people just HATE sitting in front of a table, try to find a location where you feel relaxed/comfortable. This makes your mind at ease and you'll most likely be studying through everything before you know it.

Studying was really never fun for me in high school. I just had a bunch of notes, the book, and just read everything. That was just my strategy. ._.

Problem #3
There will always be certain subjects/books/something that you'll find boring. This is how life is and you'll just have to continue to push on.

If you find it to be boring, I suggest you tear the book apart (owned by you). No, I do not mean literally. I mean mess it up with notes, highlights, tabs, etc. You'll get an ugly book at the end but you'll have learned the material and hopefully better results on tests.

At the university I attend, I have taken classes that were so boring but it's a requirement because of my major. All I did was just listen to the professor, do the work, and try to memorize the basics for tests.
As much as you want to avoid boring classes, it's inevitable.

I would also say you should sign up for a possible class that you'll enjoy. For me, I did Concert/Symphonic Band/Wind Ensemble (different levels for each grade) and Marching Band all 4 years. It helped school year go by fast, I had a lot of crazy fun with my friends, and other classes weren't so bad.
It also helps that I loved most of my teachers since they were pretty cool.



You need to stop thinking of yourself in a negative way. Think of the positives and what you can achieve. Find what you're good at while attending class and you'll see how much you can improve.
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02-09-2011   #4 (permalink)
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Don't worry, I'm sure everyone tells strangers their problems at least one point in their life =)
You can read what I wrote in response to your problems, or you can just go straight down to what I summarized ... Again, it's your choice.
I'm sorry if I sound slightly blunt ... It's a habit I got from a friend. But I rather help show you the truth than sugar coat a pathway to nowhere. (Oh god, I didn't realize I wrote this much )

Spoiler!

Final point: There is plenty of things you haven't mentioned that might prevent us from helping you solve your issues, but most of it seem to be pinpointed at motivation.

Rather than ask us, why not ask yourself some questions?

Why do you feel a need to skip?

What reason compels you to skip? If it's sleep, there are numerous ways ( like buying those sleeping masks, or listening to music )

Where do you view yourself in the future? If "boredom" is such a huge drag on your life, then you must realize that life isn't all fun and games.

Who are your friends? Your true friends will help you far more than anything else. A group of friends who laugh for shits and giggles is great, but I only really need one friend who I can tell the world too and I will tear mountains apart for her.

When do you want to start?
Why not start now? =) If everyone who posted here are willing to offer you advice, the world can't be all that bad. You just need to work hard to find the people you can trust, to find the place you fit in, and to find somewhere you can call home.

Some people call hope a road to nowhere, but they are only thinking about the ending. It's the journey that matters. Do you want to look back 20 years from now and remember the years of aimless wandering?
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02-09-2011   #5 (permalink)
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1 - I usually sleep around midnight too, give or take an hour or two, except I have to wake up at 8, so it's ok (even though I don't feel it is, I want more sleep damnit!). Your case... well, if you don't get enough one day, then on the night of that same day, you should be falling asleep earlier. Not always though, as sometimes when it happens to me, I feel perfectly fine in the night, but very sleepy during certain other times of the day. No solid solutions for you here, unless you want to try fiddling with your biological clock.

Skipping seems like a habit to me. Gotta break it with willpower.

2 - Don't take long boring notes. Take very short notes, and don't write walls of text or something. Only take notes of the stuff you don't have engraved in your memory. When you actually study on this stuff, you won't feel bored out of your mind, reading TL;DR, and basic blah blah blah stuff. May also help if you only study in short sessions and then do something more entertaining, then going back to short study session, repeat.

3 - WELP, no fix here. The teacher sounds similar to my last year's english teacher. Dear lord that was a terrible time of my life, constant "blah blah you guys suck at this blah blah you should be able to do _____ in ____ days, blah blah derogatory comments", and I wanted her to have a nice cup of shut the **** up every day. You're screwed on this front to me.

Your school sounds like it has a lack of awesome teachers. They make a massive difference in not being bored out of your skull. Having a favourite subject helps a lot in keeping interest, but you don't seem to like anything too much. Alternatively, a group of awesome friends in your classes work well in keeping your interest.

That's all I got.
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02-09-2011   #6 (permalink)
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Suck it up and correct what you're doing wrong. This is coming from an person who did everything you're doing before realizing how stupid it was. Yea studying is lame, boring teachers suck, life sucks, but you can make your own life easier by getting over these obstacles faster. Why are you scared of going to school? Do you have disciplinarians after you? Afraid of being humiliated? What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Study tip: If you really want it then you'll do it willingly. You don't want good grades if you force yourself to study.
 
02-10-2011   #7 (permalink)
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Mm, I see a lot of interesting points being made here...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheep
Which is more important, understanding the material or getting that grade? I've seen countless people "barely" get by Math classes and have not the slightest clue of what it means and it's importance. Sure, grades will look great but what significance does a "letter" hold?
While I know, nobody gives a damn about grades later, I'm sick of feeling disappointed with myself every time I get a bad one, this is a bit hard to explain rationally I guess. And most of the subjects don't really require me to "understand" the material, just to memorize countless facts. Maths I'm actually pretty good at without even studying. But other than Maths, Physics, Chemistry and maybe Geography, it's all a matter of simple memorization... which is what makes studying suck so much in the first place.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheep
Where do you view yourself in the future? If "boredom" is such a huge drag on your life, then you must realize that life isn't all fun and games.
*sigh* Yes, you're right. It just pains me a bit that schools and teachers don't realize people learn best when it's enjoyable. If we force ourselves to study things we don't like, we're just going to memorize it for some time, then forget it and never use this information again. But there's nothing I can do about it, I guess. Being bored more than half of the day is a bit... tiring, though. If forcing ourselves to do something we hate is the biggest part of our life then what kinda life is that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheep
There is plenty of things you haven't mentioned that might prevent us from helping you solve your issues...
Like? (if I should even state them)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Henreh
Why are you scared of going to school? Do you have disciplinarians after you? Afraid of being humiliated?
This. Plus I generally fear other people, besides those I know really well. And I'm constantly afraid of saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, making a mistake.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RoflKnife
Having a favourite subject helps a lot in keeping interest, but you don't seem to like anything too much.
Well, I like English, but the classes are just same old thing from elementary school and middle school again. Nothing new, except maybe some new vocab. Those classes bore me so much I already managed to complete the exercises in the book a few chapters in advance...

I can force myself to go to school every day, force myself to study, just... I'm afraid I'll eventually fall back to where I am now, if I won't enjoy what I'm doing. So like... I don't see what else you guys could help me with, but you're welcome to try.
 
02-10-2011   #8 (permalink)
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Sounds like you might have problem communicating / interacting with others around your age. It's not all that uncommon these days @_@ but problem needs be addressed. I suggest going to see the school counselor about it or a youth community service place. I think the best way to deal with all of those three problems is to apply to be homeschooled or individual studies. They have that in a lot of countries now, yours hopefully wouldn't be an exception. That way, you have more control over your timing for getting good grades and whateva you want to do at home. But that's not a long term method to solve your problem, i strongly recommend that you try find the source of the problem and tackle it, seeing a counselor or psychologist would be a really good start they are trained and they are experienced. Once you realise what the actual problem is, they'll work out a plan with you to see how the problem could be tackled.
About studies... and good grades... i'm not an expert at this but i'm a guy who loves to game and watch dramas all day, i still want good grades and i almost always do. My method is do whateva i want during normal times and let the pressure take me instead of taking initiatives to study everyday bits by bits. (i heard this is no good lol) If your want good grades bad enough like me, the pressure really will take you to where you want to be. You just need to have an aim and be determined about what grades you want to get. Work out a reason why you want that grade, keep things clear in your mind, what you want and why you want it.
Anyway, hopefully i helped, that's it for now @_@"! long post it was!
All the best buddy!!!
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02-10-2011   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Routine
This. Plus I generally fear other people, besides those I know really well. And I'm constantly afraid of saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, making a mistake.
There's no reason why you shouldn't make mistakes since nobody is perfect. What you're doing currently is just denying the fact that you're doing all of the wrong things for the wrong reasons. I'm not going to tell you how to live life but you can live with some humiliation in your life because it either makes or breaks you.

I haven't voiced my problems till my senior year but I've been doing it since sophomore year. I was in the discipline office everyday during advisory. Humiliated because even when I tried to avoid the dean he found me and dragged me down to his office. Hell he did it in front of my friends and wrote up days for detention. I'm not going to tell you what to do but what was said to me made me realize my habits will come back to haunt me. What was said? "Why the **** are you here for no good reason". I went to school but only went because I had to. It was a waste of time (or so I thought). Was I stupid for going or was I stupid for not doing anything in school while I was there? Eventually I realized it was stupid of me to cut,skip,etc because no matter what you tried to do to avoid school you'll get into some shit. You might as well do what you're supposed to and just focus on it.

As for you seeking help here, as long as someone hears you out then it's fine you shouldn't feel guilty. I see most people who went through the same problem are already helping you. maybe you can set us as examples and not be bums in high school.
 
02-10-2011   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheBlackCatXIII
I think the best way to deal with all of those three problems is to apply to be homeschooled or individual studies. They have that in a lot of countries now, yours hopefully wouldn't be an exception.
Sadly, my country IS an exception. It's next to impossible to be homeschooled in Poland. And parents wouldn't agree even if it was.

As for seeing a counselor, I did (kinda) ask parents about that but... the idea of seeing a counselor or some psychologist sounds about as likely as me travelling to the Moon. Scared of... I don't know. Not being treated seriously?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Henreh
There's no reason why you shouldn't make mistakes since nobody is perfect.
I know that. I mean, who doesn't know that? The thing is, even if I realize that, it doesn't stop me from being afraid of making a mistake, no matter how much I try to tell myself it's stupid and I shouldn't feel that way about it :<
 
02-10-2011   #11 (permalink)
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Don't let your parents know that you're seeing one. That's what I did back in the days i went to a counselor for my personal problems. And about the traveling to moon part... you see.. sometimes in life you just really need to get yourself out of your comfort zone to accomplish something. It's a one time effort tbh, once you start talking to them, you'll feel a lot easier going in there again. So be brave and get in there, i can promise you, you will not regret it. Don't give up !!
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