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07-23-2010   #1 (permalink)
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Default Giving Up; Nothing's Going to Change Here

+-[Story One: Sheba]-+


Late June, my dad and step-mom were going to start keeping my dog outside. It was on some Friday; I don't remember the date. My sister came over and saw that Sheba, my dog, was outside in the rain, whining for someone to open the backyard door, and she took it upon herself to take Sheba away from the house for good. I'm okay with this because my sister loves my dog as much as I do, so Sheba is in good hands.

Still, the fact remains that my step-mom 'suggested' that I get rid of my dog by the beginning of July, when in all reality, I had to.

I found out from my brother that my dad was going along with it because he was tired of arguing with my step-mom about Sheba. Since then, I've lost respect for my dad by a huge margin. I still pay attention when he talks. I still laugh at if and when what he says is funny. But deep down, I don't think I'll stop hating his guts for letting that cow shake him in regard to my best friend.

I'm partially okay because Sheba is not in the hands of a stranger, which is what my step-mom was suggesting if I couldn't find anyone that I knew that would be willing to take Sheba in. She's currently with my sister and my grandmother, who both moved into an apartment together because my brother went crazy for an Internet girlfriend (who I feel indifferent about, btw) and decided that he was tired of living with my sister.

The reason he moved, he says, was because he was tired of her constant nagging, but that nagging was over stuff that he needed to do. He admitted this. So, pretty much, he moved, taking his problems with him to Kentucky (from Tennessee) with some girl he met over the Internet with and roleplayed with to a trailer on a farm. If he falls flat, he'll have nowhere to go.

What an interesting family I have...
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07-23-2010   #2 (permalink)
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+-[Story Two: Job]-+



My stepmother wanted me to go out and look for a job every day until I got a job. Getting a job is all good and everything, but there's two main problems: Location and Transportation. My stepmom says that I have to go out and search , with or without proper transportation. Good thing I have a bike. However, that really doesn't make my situation much better. Walking would take forever, of course. As for with the mountain bike, it's not going down the hills that's the problem. It's going back up those steep slopes that is. With the bike.

Imagine a small city being flanked on two sides by valley walls. I live on one of these valley walls, pretty much where all the rich or old white people live. This consists of a series of hills. Some of these hills are very steep. As of now, we have days that hit the low 90s during the day. And I would have to do this every day, hitting the movie theater, the two supercenters, the three grocery stores, and the eleven or twelve fast food places, even if they say they have no openings. Every day. This is what my stepmom wants me to do.

However, I think she started to lay off after my dad talked to her. He told me that once I actually make some rounds out to put in applications for places, that I can call each of these places every other day to follow up on my application. It beats going out in the sun every day, battling these hills in the blaze. At the same time, I've had no luck with getting one yet, so on occasion I do go out to these places to check.

I'm aiming for the movie theater. They say that they may have something for me in the fall when all the college summer workers start going back to college. I wanna bank on that.

But seriously, making me go out every day would be crazy, and I'm not saying this to justify me being lazy. I'm not lazy. I do what both tell me to do, albeit begrudgingly with my stepmom. I mow the lawn, I sweep the floors, I clean the bathroom and kitchen, I vacuum the carpet downstairs, I clean the computer area, I do my own laundry, I clean my room. If that's lazy, I don't know how to become a hard worker. She says that I have to have 'consistent excellence.' In my book, consistent excellence is equal to perfection, and perfection is impossible.

If I had consistent excellence, I would be up there with those other Asian A-Teams in my school. I would read my assigned pages each night they're assigned and moreso to where I know the whole of the book before the class can keep up with me. If I had consistent excellence, I would be a people pleaser, and my stepmom would be as happy with me as she is with her robotic daughter. But I'm not.

A friend told me while I was distressing about getting a job and a driver's license that everyone goes at their own pace; that I'm not ahead, that I'm not behind, but that I'm going at my own pace. Of course, this is not to justify that I do nothing at the last minute. At times, it does get old asking for money or sitting in the passenger seat while my grandmother drives. At the moment, I'm looking at a study guide for the state driving test. I've learned to drive stick, so I'm close to set.

Still, I don't see why I have to try and please my stepmom, trying to keep up with her former self. She always refers to what she had to do when she tried to go for her first job when she was younger. Well, all I have to say is 'different times, different place.'

I honestly don't like her always trying to make me do it her way. And not just me; she wants everyone to follow suit. She got rid of my dog; she got what she wanted. She got this fat Lexus; she got what she wanted. She gets her daughter to do almost everything while she does close to nothing; she's getting what she wants. She goes out on occasional hot dates; she's getting what she wants.

Why is my dad spoiling this woman? It's been a long time since I got what I wanted. At the same time, I really don't know what I want. Not in the short-run, not in the long-run. When it comes to non-materialistic things, I really don't know what I want, and I can see how that affects my relationship with my dad.

tl;dr: In regards to a job, my step-mom pushed me off a cliff; consistant excellence is perfection in a pretty dress; in life, everyone goes at their own pace, and so do I; my stepmom always seems to get what she wants; I don't know what I ultimately want in life, and it affects my relationship with my dad.
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07-23-2010   #3 (permalink)
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Talk to your dad, tell him how you feel. EXPLAIN to him. Because mostly, he'll ignore you if you just talk with him bout his 'new' wife. So yeah. :/
Feel bad for you man. Just hold on.
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07-25-2010   #4 (permalink)
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I already have explained this stuff to him, on drives together. He says he notices some of these things in her, too, but at the same time, because she's his wife, I have to listen to her, regardless.

He says that both of us are stubborn because neither of us want to talk to the other person first. We both think that we don't like each other. It's true on my end; I don't like her. I don't know if she likes me or not. But when I walk in the house from one of my walks, I announce to her that I'm home and all she does is slowly look over to me, says 'okay,' then continues to watch the TV on her fat behind. Of course, when dad comes in, she's all like 'Hey, baby!'

He says that change starts with me, mainly because it's the man that makes the first move, not the woman.

Correct me if I'm mistaken, but as a man, it's one of my goals to get to the point where I treat every woman as if she were my own wife, in a respectful kind of way. Don't you think it would apply to women with how they treat men, too?

Maybe it's just that I feel really unappreciated for what I do around the house. They have all the financial backing under control, sure, but I wish she, in particular, wouldn't make it an excuse to work me like a borrowed mule while she does nothing. And I mean NOTHING. Dad knows this, too.

This woman is too stubborn and too 'solid in her faith' to change her ways, yet she expects everyone else to change to what meets her fancy. So I have given up. And once I save up more than enough money, I'm moving out.

Both of them go out of town together to enjoy themselves more often than I get to spend time with my own dad, and it sucks. It's a sucky feeling because I don't remember the last time my dad and I spent a great time together - just the two of us, or heck, even the four of us, counting my older bro and sis - out of town. Yet there they go out on hot dates, seeing a comedy on their first anniversary and now planning to go on a cruise in September very close after my birthday...
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Last edited by Marzai; 07-25-2010 at 09:40 AM.
 
07-25-2010   #5 (permalink)
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Talk to her in front of your dad. :/
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07-26-2010   #6 (permalink)
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I don't have the guts to. But at the same time, what do I have to lose? I've lost my best friend, I've lost my bro, and quite frankly I think I'm about to lose my dad. But I guess that's to be expected; I'm 18 now, and I'm sure he's ready to move on with his life, even though he doesn't show an inkling of it. Still, I don't see how my step-mom is saying that she's ready for me to go, right after I got out of high school.

1.) She says that she can't control adults, but she can control children; in this case, me being the adult, and her daughter the 14-year-old robot replica of herself being the child. I should've figured it was a matter of control. That'd one point I'll get across to her when the time is right.

2.) She wants my dad to help her get her old house back. He asked if the locks on the house were changed. She said yes. He said 'Then it's not your house.' Another point that I'll use.

3.) She got rid of my dog for a 'remodeling project' that she never finished. When I say 'she,' I mean me and her daughter doing all the work while she just gives us tasks to do, as usual. Yet another point.

4.) She expects everyone around her to change, yet doesn't bother change or even look at herself. Another point.

When the time is right, I'll have my gun and these four bullets above to unload on her pompous, high-scale, arrogant ass.
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07-26-2010   #7 (permalink)
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Don't give up on the job hunting. Maybe if you save up enough you can go stay with your sister and dog?
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07-30-2010   #8 (permalink)
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Haven't given up on the job hunting; it's just that she thinks I'm not trying hard enough because I haven't landed a job yet. The reason I haven't is because most of these places are simply overstaffed over the summer. Even the places that I didn't expect to not have a spot for me don't.

I even tried at banks, but I'm sure they wouldn't hire anyone with no job experience.

I haven't given up. She's just trying to kill me. As I've said before, she wants me to get on my bike every day to go into town. Where I live, town is down below the series of hills that I live on. Every day it's been in the early 90s Fahrenheit, and getting back up those hills is not fun. By the time I get home, I want nothing else to do because I've been biking around in the heat all day just to get a job. So, right now I'm searching for a job so that these bike rides up and down these hills can finally be worthwhile.
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