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07-12-2010   #1 (permalink)
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Default Is Change Possible?

Part I:
Alright it seems I'm becoming a little down about school.
I've earned my reputation as an annoying person.(Really annoying)
I'm trying tor regain as much self respect as possible in school, but, it just isn't working for me.
Reason why I'm annoying is that...I have nothing to do...so i pretty much bother my classmates around me and they become irritated.
I don't annoy them all, but I do most of the time. I'm really afraid now, because I'm wondering how I'll end up in my future, with this kind of annoying attitude, I could put my life into deep jeopardy, and today, I'm asking advice on how I could stop being annoying...
During my Sophomore year of High school, and throughout the rest of my years....I want to cure my need of annoying-ness/boring-ness.
Even though I have a positive attitude, I end up messing it up by over exaggerating everything.

Add on: How do you not become a buzz-kill?

By the way, I do have friends, but they're all guys, it seems.
Is it good to have all your friends as the same gender as you, or its better to have both genders?
Right now I'm just trying to focus on school and sports.
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Last edited by taeo; 07-12-2010 at 11:09 PM.
 
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07-12-2010   #2 (permalink)
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It should be painfully obvious that if you're trying to stop with the annoying attitude that annoys everyone, stop being annoying.

It's that simple. If you get bored then do something other than interacting with your peers, like draw (On paper, not your peers) or something.

About the friends: It's horrible to have only friends of your same gender, why? Because you have no balance in your life, and it actually says something about you negatively. It comes off as there's something about you that causes the opposite gender to not want to deal with you. (Probably your annoying attitude, just sayin)

So you're a boy, try to fix yourself by thinking about things this way:

You need girls in your life, but how are you going to do that? By behaving like a normal person, that's how. If you annoy -any- girl then you failed and you have to start over, yeah? Behave around them in such a way that they feel comfortable talking to you and don't have to worry about you pulling an weirdo.
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07-12-2010   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Virus
It should be painfully obvious that if you're trying to stop with the annoying attitude that annoys everyone, stop being annoying.

It's that simple. If you get bored then do something other than interacting with your peers, like draw (On paper, not your peers) or something.

About the friends: It's horrible to have only friends of your same gender, why? Because you have no balance in your life, and it actually says something about you negatively. It comes off as there's something about you that causes the opposite gender to not want to deal with you. (Probably your annoying attitude, just sayin)

So you're a boy, try to fix yourself by thinking about things this way:

You need girls in your life, but how are you going to do that? By behaving like a normal person, that's how. If you annoy -any- girl then you failed and you have to start over, yeah? Behave around them in such a way that they feel comfortable talking to you and don't have to worry about you pulling an weirdo.
I agree with what you say by using my time by doing something else, but then, wouldn't that lead me to becoming a loner?
because without much interaction, you become lonely in the inside...but then again...annoying-ness is loneliness

Yeah....i kind of screwed up being with any girls because I have no chance with them. All the girls at my school are mostly looking at the most athletic people, and have high egos. There are only a few which are actually fair.
The group that i hang out with is mostly humorous and have a passion for sports.
By the way, explain what a normal person is, I've been trying to figure that out because there is no exact definition or explanation for a normal person
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07-13-2010   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by taeo
Yeah....i kind of screwed up being with any girls because I have no chance with them. All the girls at my school are mostly looking at the most athletic people, and have high egos. There are only a few which are actually fair.
Waaait, I thought you said you wanted to have a few girls as friends, not an actual girlfriend.

You don't have to "have a chance with them" to just be a friend. Just make sure they're not using you.
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07-13-2010   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by taeo
By the way, explain what a normal person is, I've been trying to figure that out because there is no exact definition or explanation for a normal person
By normal I mean someone who can interact with their peers in a decent/positive way, you know, without annoying them.
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07-13-2010   #6 (permalink)
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I'm the same as you, except I have lots of girl friends instead of guy friends.
What I guess you can do is maybe to tone down a little, if it's really funny and all, go ahead, if not just try to keep still and be serious. I did that, and things slowly turned better.

To me, girl friends are easier to make because they aren't all that "zomgs I'm more (quality X) than you". Different countries count, too I guess. You'll eventually find a group of friends to be with, be it with all guys or all girls or mixed. Keep your choice of friends open instead of saying "I want more of these friends". You'll sound creepy.
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07-13-2010   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shikisaurus
Keep your choice of friends open instead of saying "I want more of these friends". You'll sound creepy.
I want more friends with the same blood-type as me.

Don't ask.
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07-13-2010   #8 (permalink)
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I'm a male.
I can act positive actually...
But it seems I just cant do it during classtime
I have some girls as friends, but im not really close with them
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07-13-2010   #9 (permalink)
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If you aren't involved in any clubs, try joining one that's relevant to your interests. If you are, join something that is just a little hobby. Either way, you'll meet new people, get involved, be open, but don't be weird. When you're working on a group project and you make a good first impression, people will enjoy working with you more.

You can't force friends to be close, but try contacting them every now and then and hang out. If you mix well then you'll become better friends.
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07-13-2010   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adun
If you aren't involved in any clubs, try joining one that's relevant to your interests. If you are, join something that is just a little hobby. Either way, you'll meet new people, get involved, be open, but don't be weird. When you're working on a group project and you make a good first impression, people will enjoy working with you more
Best thing if you need help making friends.
Be more charismatic around people, and try to emit a friendly aura that makes people like you more. It's a bit tough to diagnose your situation without actually knowing what you're doing already.
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07-13-2010   #11 (permalink)
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Honestly I think you should just be who you are. If you want to change it's important that you want to change for you, not for anyone else. What's a good way to start? Apologize to the people you might have annoyed, and let them know that you want to change. Maybe ask what it was that you were doing that was annoying, so you can stop doing that. As long as you're sincere, the rest will fall into place.

I know this is going to sound really weird, but practice smiling in the mirror. Make sure your eyes are involved with your smile, as the eyes are key in a genuine smile. If you hold a smile long enough, you'll start to feel happy too! I find myself laughing whenever I do this. It'll be weird at first, but it could help improve your mood. Smiling at people makes you look more approachable to them, which will make it easier for you to make friends.

Just out of curiosity, are you in high school? My guess is that you are, in which case don't feel too down about the high school social scene. I just graduated, and trust me, a few people in high school finding you annoying won't mean much to you when you never see them again. So don't be too bummed about this, okay? =)
 
07-13-2010   #12 (permalink)
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As a girl, I'll say this: Girls get creeped out really easily.

Try to calm yourself down. Maybe you're high strung because of too much pent up energy? You could try exercising in the morning, since believe it or not that will actually help you out a bit.

As for the not being annoying thing...I have that same problem, except i honestly cannot tell when i'm annoying people. I asked my friends to state explicitly when I get out of hand, and I use that as a cue to take a step back and calm down.


edit:

It's fine and dandy to tell someone to be more friendly and charismatic but truth be told there are some of us that just don't get that. As in we simply don't understand how to do it.
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07-14-2010   #13 (permalink)
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Alright, I guess I haven't really revealed this, but, I'm actually a really positive too, poeple find me annoying sometimes because I'm too happy.
I can approach any girl easily and make a conversation quickly, but it doesn't last long.
Sometimes though, if it's the other way around, I get nervous.

I'm involved with sports and clubs, but the clubs at my school don't really help much.
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07-14-2010   #14 (permalink)
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taeo. Lol
You reminded me of myself.
I learned to stop being so annoying when one of my best friend (a she) said that my attitude is really annoys people.
Here's a lil tip I taught myself.
Knows when to shut up, if you got something to say (after saying alot of things) then think it this way first, "will they going to be annoyed by it?" if you think the answer is yes. Then stop talking. o-o Yeap..
And stop being so optimistic. Realistic people hates optimistic people.
You have to be a lil bit pesismist sometime so they;ll think you're normal. Sad eh?

Funny thing is that you have more male friends than I do.
All my friends including my best friend is female. Probably because I'm gay. And chicks digs gay dude. <I AM GAY, not fake>
Yeah.. But since after I fixed my attitude irl. (Lol) I now have more male friends who aren't actually trying to get under my pants. A straight dude. Lol. Kinda proud.

If you want to get a gf. Be a gentlemen. Nuff' said. lol
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07-14-2010   #15 (permalink)
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Yeah...but how should i regain, what I've lost, or has been gone for while?
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07-14-2010   #16 (permalink)
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^The sad thing about that is that people always remember you by your first impression. Depending on the person, you can totally change their perspective, or they'll always see you as the annoying person you've been.

It's good that you're actually conscious about you being annoying to other people. Positivity is good and all, but there are some times where you need to be more realistic than positive:

No one likes it when one guy says 'TO VICTORY!!!' toward the enemy when his retreating comrades are getting hammered by endless cannons, howitzers, boulders, rifles, and melted metals from a greatly fortified fortress on top of a hill, while he and his army are on foot with only pistols.

Also, keep over-exaggerations to a minimum:

People will think it weird if you say 'Wow, that ballerina is so flexible I bet she can bend all the way over to kiss her butt!' (Of course, this is a stretch, but you get the idea).

Learn to laugh at a lot of things. Just not every single thing.

As for (lady) friends: It's odd, but I offer hugs. You never know who's loving and wants it, or who's hurting and needs it. It's also really odd when I follow it up with a casual "I love you (,man)." But people remember that stuff, usually in a good way. Just don't be over the top with it.

Going off of what Rpgslave said, be you, but be conscious enough to change yourself, for yourself, to improve yourself.
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07-15-2010   #17 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chromeheart
^The sad thing about that is that people always remember you by your first impression.
This is where withdrawing for a while helps. Case in point: A freelance journalist once sent in a column to an editor and asked it to be published. He called it terrible and told him never to send in anything again. Being persistent, the journalist got a name for himself elsewhere, and in 2 months he sent in the exact same article to the exact same editor and got it accepted. The same goes for people. If they don't know you well, they tend to forget you. This gives you a second chance to make a first impression. This gives you a few months to redefine your image. Use this time to work on your personal interests and hobbies. This helps to perk up your personal profile so people become interested in you after you have faded into the background for a while. It shows that you are independent and progressive.

Also, guys are all about confidence. Haven't you ever noticed that the guys who try really hard end up alone, and the ones that don't look like they need any female companionship end up with a lot? In line with this thread, just be you. You sound overly stressed and hyperactive, so consider a solid weight training program. It really helps you mellow out and reduces the stress hormones inside your system.
 
07-15-2010   #18 (permalink)
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So...pretty much, I need to rethink things over?
I should learn when to laugh and have a sense of humor?
Withdraw from society to build up my interests?
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07-15-2010   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by taeo
Withdraw from society to build up my interests?
More like, withdraw from your regular circle of friends and associates for a while. In fact, it's the exact opposite of avoiding society; you are widening out. Part of building new or existing interests is meeting new people you normally would not have the chance to if you were stuck in a corner with the same old crowd. Don't be afraid to take a chance and meet more people.
 
07-15-2010   #20 (permalink)
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Yeah, but wouldn't they be questioning me, or become more distant?
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