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06-24-2010   #1 (permalink)
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Default Finishing school soon, feelings rather mixed.

As title says, school's ending soon with less than 5 months, very much just studying and practice here on out ~__~. A rather mixed feeling I have regarding High School.
I attend an average / under average all boys school which kinda suck in many ways but i don't really regret attending it .-. It made me discover what i wana do and gave me a rather meaningful purpose in life. School has shown me the other side of the society which i previously wasn't aware of before coming to this school and this country.
I really enjoyed the first 4 years of high school before entering the senior years. There was no tension within the large group of friends i hang out with and everyone were rather innocent. I still remember everyday at school was a blast, almost every morning i got up i would just be thinking how much fun i'm going to have at school today. Since most of my electives were industrial arts back then and there were PE prac lessons where very fun games were played @_@. I just had so much to look forward to in those days
However, things changed really quickly with the senior years, people became a lot more competitive and a lot of rivalry arised from the group due to both studies and gaming. Something I was anticipating to happen but hoped it wouldn't. Eventually those who have always done well became confident and now looking down on those who are not as perfect as them. I feel as though a lot of them had turned into people who i don't know anymore, wondering whether they've always been like this or have they just changed. But in the end of the day it didn't really matter because i now do not enjoy myself under their presence. The looking down on people who were not academic and the constant talk behind people's back were ridiculous.
The worst is, i'm sometimes becoming people's goal, someone they want to beat, someone they want to jump over. I was ok with it at first, eventually it got to the point where, unless it was a close friend, they wouldn't even lend me notes to catch up on after my sick leave. I'm more than happy for them to beat me, i don't even need the higher scores they need for their University Entrances due to our different courses. In fact, i need rather low marks in comparison with them, about 10~20% lower. I eventually became the *****stock and the toy of the group. They said it was due to my attitude problem in a game (not TO, they don't play it). I said fine, i'll quit it, they said that wouldn't cut it and even said that just adds to my attitude problem. So i evaded the problem and continued, eventually i was receiving a really strong rejection from the group both IRL and IG. So i decided to change even though i didn't truly see where the problem was. i just spoke less and put up with any criticism they had for me in the game. Although on several occasions i exploded coz it was just too much.
It was sad watching friends who i'd known for 6 years where i helped them countlessly could turn their backs on me so easily. the rest of the group wouldn't dare sticking up for me knowing that if they did, they would be rejected too. the most some of them did was to not add to the abuse. and so i kinda left the group. i only talk to them here and there (minimal conversations). Even then, the abusive talks persists even today.
I don't really have anything to look forward to whenever i get up in the morning now. The only thing i can look forward to might be the end of 5 months. Or the new life in University next year which doesn't really gurantee much, after hearing from my brother how hard making friends in Uni can be.
With the end of school coming up, i'm left with very mixed feelings, i'm glad that i've came to this school for the fun junior years and the key to unlocking my purpose in life but at the same time, wondering why things turned out like that right at the end.
 
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06-24-2010   #2 (permalink)
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Most people around my area say things like "High School friends are not the most important. University are because they will be working with you in the future."

I don't really agree with that phrase. I found my high school friends just as important because I've practically known them since Elementary.
I'm surprised your friends have really gone into the extremes and to be that competitive when your goals are different. I guess the best option would be to ignore that and hope they continue to stay your friends even with this competition.


You should definitely look forward to meeting new friends at your University. They will be both your friends and a driving force to be the best.
Competition will always occur in University because everyone wants the best degree/job. The good thing is that they at least know that major competition will never help them become the best worker if they don't have that personal communication with people.

It's also safe to make friends that aren't the same major, like your room mates and what not. They may not make you want to do the best but at least they are there for laughs when you need it.
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06-24-2010   #3 (permalink)
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I still have a few close friends around. I haven't lost everyone yet. Just that a lot of them i initially thought were close friends turned out to be quite dodgy. I now like those people who are not as academically gifted, who are the people those ex-friends looked down on all the time. Some of them are really nice to talk to and are informed about things in an entirely different area/s. In my opinion though, any friends you have had a sustained successful relationship with are important, whether this be pres-school, primary, secondary, or anywhere. However, people tend to change dramatically during high school years. I changed quite a lot myself.
I would expect the friends i meet in the future will be less volatile.
But i might consider thanking them because, i was once arrogant and at times, and somewhat too confident about things. It wasn't exactly fatal, but i've changed, and i feel good about this change. I wonder sometimes if it really was my fault or were they just finding a random excuse by stating my weakness in my personality. The persistent abuse even after i change makes me lean more towards wasn't really my fault to begin with.
 
06-24-2010   #4 (permalink)
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Hmmm I was kind of like this during my last year in High School as well.

My word of advice is to study your HSC with a few close friends. Share and help each other if you're doing the same subject, or just study together in the local library. Trials and HSC is mainly just memorising essays, nothing more. Even the 'creative writing' in Adv. English should be prepared and memorised. I remember I would actually skip school on days I didn't have much periods and just meet up with a close friend to study.

As for the competitiveness... well it's not entirely a bad thing. Remember, your UAI is scaled according to the performance of others in your school and your overall school rank. If you can't stand them, just ignore them. Your real friends are made in Uni. Making friends in uni is very easy. I'm not very sociable and I still have a large group of friends to hang with in most classes. These are the people you will have around in the future. The highschool guys who went off to do a Bachelor of Commerce, not so much (just saying )

Also one thing about UAIs. Try aim above your intended score. Uni entry is very flexible, but whether it's a bachelor of science or arts at usyd or unsw, try aim for 85. Your UAI isn't everything, but remember to have a goal.

edit: about mirae's view - I suppose uni is the place where you actually meet up with all your lost elementary school friends as well. In fact, one of my closer friends now is from primary school and I haven't seen her for 6years. Just saying, it's really no problem to find friends/old friends in uni lol

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06-24-2010   #5 (permalink)
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LOL my brother does B Commerce o.o"... lmao, maybe that's why he said hard to make new friends @_@, what'd u ended up doing if u don't mind me asking of course =/ i plan to do Criminology @ UNSW. or social science will do too, don't care, as long as it's social science based and helps me with getting into AFP. yes, i plan to get 85+ ATAR (the new UAI). Although parents and teachers often complain about me aiming too low. but that's all i need. B social science is 78. Criminology is 85 without UAC +
 
06-24-2010   #6 (permalink)
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Psychology in B. Science @ unsw

The only thing I wouldn't do in unsw is commerce, everything else is pretty good.

If you want to do something AFP related you should aim for the Criminology degree. I don't think B. social science offers Criminology as a major meaning you'll just end up doing things like social theory, economics, history and philosophy.
 
06-24-2010   #7 (permalink)
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yea =] i'm not exceptionally gifted in academics. but i'm still quite confident to get about 85 >___>" WHY DID THEY RAISE IT BY SO MUCH IN ONE YEAR zz. from 81 to 85 =____="
and yes, they do offer it as a major except the title doesn't look as cool would be B social science rather than B Social Science (criminology) .-. The Criminology course is more specialised and studies everything in more depth i think.
oh well, joining the AFP, almost any uni degree would do .-. i heard that government intellegence and investigation etc etc expects a uni degree to display a certain level of intellect rather than applying the knowledge a person aquired from the course.
It sounds like a good course, but so far, all i'm hearing from people is that it's boring LOL..
 

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