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11-10-2008   #21 (permalink)
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My mother & stepdad met in a game called Sims Online and eventually they started chattin' and stuff; I guess they ended up falling in love enough to get married in the game and a few years later they met up in rl and now are married o_o; It was a LDR because we lived in Puerto Rico while my stepdad lived in CA.

They've been married for 4 years now =P


as for me, I was in a LDR, but I dont really wanna go into details I guess xP just dont feel like talking about it x3
but LDRs can work, I've seen it happen with my mother =] and a friend of mine is in a LDR and she met up with him irl and they're still together =o

Last edited by Mai; 11-10-2008 at 03:22 PM.
 
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11-10-2008   #22 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adun
So does immigration and customs.

On-topic: Not to boast or anything, but I'm living proof with Gati now that a long distance relationship works, in the case that anybody is cynical about it.

We were both very honest, reliable, trustworthy, sacrificing... It takes a lot out of you do make it work out, and the first steps are hardest and risky because you don't get the physical attraction out of the way until you get pictures traded off and/or actually meet them in person. The best ways to downplay these risks are voice chat and webcam/video chat, and I've been talking with Gati over Ventrilo on a daily basis and we've already met 2 times in person, the longest visit being nearly a month, and we're planning a 2 week visit in February. It's hard to plan these things out because we are nearly 5000 miles apart and it costs nearly $1000 for a roundtrip flight ticket.

However, if you meet them in person, if everything works out just fine, then it evolves into a deeper relationship because you know who they are and you can trust them. It starts to classify as a close relationship that has gone long-distance.

Long distance relationships aren't for everyone though, of course.
Just know what you want and what you can handle.
Don't start anything that you doubt yourself in.
Yes, things work out fine, provided you keep the interest intact and don't wane in their tastes nor change from what they know of you. It is a ton of work though, and typically sometimes one side may end up doing what the other doesn't approve of. This can easily result in problems where one feels powerless at the behavior. As long as you two keep up things going without it becoming mundane, nothing will go wrong. It is difficult when you can't exert physical control or embrace at moments when in need; but if you two are doing fine at those moments without getting angry... then it works.
 
11-10-2008   #23 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JC
Yes, things work out fine, provided you keep the interest intact and don't wane in their tastes nor change from what they know of you. It is a ton of work though, and typically sometimes one side may end up doing what the other doesn't approve of. This can easily result in problems where one feels powerless at the behavior. As long as you two keep up things going without it becoming mundane, nothing will go wrong. It is difficult when you can't exert physical control or embrace at moments when in need; but if you two are doing fine at those moments without getting angry... then it works.
We have our ways of addressing getting each other's approval in things and the relationship is surely not mundane at all.

The physical contact is very important and it's impossible in an LDR, people who have so much emphasis on that are typically not meant for LDR's anyway.

People in LDR's have to ask themselves that and beware of getting into something they can't handle.

It's definitely a lot of work from both sides, and that's why I warn that people have to be aware of what an LDR expects of you and your partner.
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Last edited by Adun; 11-10-2008 at 03:38 PM.
 
11-10-2008   #24 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adun
We have our ways of addressing getting each other's approval in things and the relationship is surely not mundane at all.

The physical contact is very important and it's impossible in an LDR, people who have so much emphasis on that are typically not meant for LDR's anyway.

People in LDR's have to ask themselves that and beware of getting into something they can't handle.

It's definitely a lot of work from both sides, and that's why I warn that people have to be aware of what an LDR expects of you and your partner.
We make up for the lack of physical contact whenever we are together in person.
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11-10-2008   #25 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gati
We make up for the lack of physical contact whenever we are together in person.
Honestly, I'd be concern if you're away that long and can make it up in two days. By the time you two start living together, there's a chance you'll get sick of each other.
 
11-10-2008   #26 (permalink)
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Two days isn't that long. o_O


I went to disneyland for only one day for my boyfriend. I'm going to see him January.


2times seeing him, sure does sucks.
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11-10-2008   #27 (permalink)
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ahh i think people who can keep a long distance relationship are amazing ^^ i mean its so hard and ive been in a couple before but one of my best buddies used to live where i am and he dated this girl, but then he moved to texas and for 2 years now him and that girl have been keeping their relationship. It is really amazing...the only thing is he does drugs in texas cuz it hurts to be away ): i miss him
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11-10-2008   #28 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JC
Honestly, I'd be concern if you're away that long and can make it up in two days. By the time you two start living together, there's a chance you'll get sick of each other.
Two days? Nothing was said about two days.
We're talking about visits that last 2 weeks ~ 1 month, at the moment.
Whatever our schedules can afford without costing us too much, losing jobs, etc... and no, it doesn't totally compensate for it because it's not something that can be satisfied, IMO.

She's really not someone I could "get sick of".
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11-11-2008   #29 (permalink)
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Im not exactly in a lover's long distance relationship... but I would like to be... I mean this friend of mine I have been friends with for nearly half my life... I can understand why we arent in one, it is because she wants someone who is beside her, to be able to hug her and whatnot... I cant do this... yet... but I can tell you, she was interested at one point... but she has really been through a lot with relationships... it has really been hard on her... I can understand if she is feeling a bit emotionally comfused about future relationships... but yah... I plan on visiting her for her high school graduation in two years... :3
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11-12-2008   #30 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adun
Two days? Nothing was said about two days.
We're talking about visits that last 2 weeks ~ 1 month, at the moment.
Whatever our schedules can afford without costing us too much, losing jobs, etc... and no, it doesn't totally compensate for it because it's not something that can be satisfied, IMO.

She's really not someone I could "get sick of".
I must've misread, my mistake. Good thing you two are insatiable after a week or two, good signs, imo. The last thing is progress for permanent move within a reasonable time for you two.
 
11-13-2008   #31 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ameh
He does drugs to get away from the pain of.. being away? I wonder what the girl would think >_>


tbh, a LDR could either work out really well or really bad, depending on the people and situation :/ when you dont have physical contact and intimacy, all thats left is your imagination.. and your words. Then again, it could be really hard, and you could just miss someone so much you feel frustrated and stuff. It takes someone with patience of steel, but if you love them and everythings going well, then thats no problem obviously. :3
she was alright with it at first but just last week she started telling him to stop doing it and now I have no idea whats going on with them but im sure they will work it out...
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11-15-2008   #32 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JC
I must've misread, my mistake. Good thing you two are insatiable after a week or two, good signs, imo. The last thing is progress for permanent move within a reasonable time for you two.
That's all we're waiting for, honestly.

I've got a great job, at the moment. The move is easily affordable and I can invest in major savings... but it's just about the time right now... We have at least 6 months left to wait. Not making any hasty decisions here.
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11-16-2008   #33 (permalink)
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Well since I -technically- met my husband on IRC I guess I'm under the belief that long distance relationships can work out! But we didn't start dating online, we met each other irl through a friend at my college. I think online relationships are really risky for the reasons people have stated, you don't really know how the person is irl and if you actually enjoy being together irl and of course, and if you are physically compatible which is important for a relationship to last (imo).
but sometimes it can work out
I'll tell you right now though, importing a husband is EXPENSIVE. lol
damn immigration.
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11-16-2008   #34 (permalink)
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^
Made me remember something.

There was a news report a year back talking about how a lot Chinese/Hong Kong girls are trying to get to America through online by posting their pictures or seeking relationships.

*note, I have nothing against Chinese. I am Chinese
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