"What Happened to All the Nice Guys?"

[Red]

Credits to Mitchi (or Ayumi...I forgot) for showing this to me. Depending on YOU, this will be humorous or truthful.

You can tl:dr if you want.

Date: 2007-11-19, 3:52AM PST


I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were ****ing treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an ******* than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've ****ed yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't ****ing want you, now.

Sincerely,

A Recovering Nice Guy

best of craigslist : "What Happened to All the Nice Guys?"

[Azix]

Truth and humorous. +1 rep hahahaa.

[PlayerKiller]

Ha! So true.

*is a nice guy*

[Shnao]

Best thread I've ever read, means a lot to me.

Funny and true, indeed. +1 to both of you. (would make it +9001 if it was possible D; )

[DarkManticore]

+1 rep *Is a nice guy as well* Always got the short end of the stick its kinda depressing at times.

[Ascherit]

I never asked that question, so I'm out of that group.

[JC]

Apart from the great opening post, the other answer is:

They are all taken.

[Red]

Originally Posted by JC

Apart from the great opening post, the other answer is:

They are all taken.

Then make your own. I believe there is a good guy in most men.

[Ronin]

I'm a nice guy ;D short term is not my thing, that story showed lots of interesting facts.

[JC]

Originally Posted by Rhikiri

Then make your own. I believe there is a good guy in most men.

I'm of the belief that you can't change a person once they reach a certain age. Also, most people I meet, tend to be stubborn, or it strangely rubs off from me :l

EDIT: Wow at typos...

[Adun]

Originally Posted by Rhikiri

Then make your own. I believe there is a good guy in most men.

Too bad not everybody cares. Probably because they're cynical too.
Much too often, men aren't going to change over a woman, either.

[Henreh]

The Truth.


I want to see a girl reply to this :P

[BrokenKarma]

Originally Posted by Adun

Too bad not everybody cares. Probably because they're cynical too.
Much too often, men aren't going to change over a woman, either.

Agreed =P
I like the way I am, so no change for me

[Red]

Woah....really? You guys really think people can't change?....I've witnessed a complete idiots turning smart (myself).

Complete emo turning happy....and a stubborn teacher turning humble.


but let's drop this topic since it's off-topic.

[Vaizado]

I don't find it funny, it's general knowledge.
\

[Vith]

Why Do Girls Go For *******s? | Dating advice, tips and experiences | Dating blogs & forums

Nice guys suck. Also yes, I'm a nice guy.

[Red]

Originally Posted by Vaizado

I don't find it funny, it's general knowledge.
\

General knowledge, yes that's true but for some people you have to write it out and show it to make them realize it.

[Henreh]

the videos said it all

[Yoruhime]

*thumbs up* But meh, they don't exist in my world. Not yet anyway.

[Leille]

Lul, so true...maybe that's what happened to all the guys who used to be so nice a while ago- I've seen it happen before too o.o