FFS I just wrote something and hit backspace and lost it all. -.- Now this will sound more pissy than before because it's 12:54am and my room is hot.
short version because now I'm too pissed that I lost my text
us: browsing pictures of chocolate, see chocolate strawberries, also remembers about the cheese party where you mention there's going to be cheese and chocolate fondue
you: (interested in the chocolate strawberries) you could bring the chocolate fondue that your mom brought from Toronto
problem here -> that chocolate was when I bought it for us for valentines for sometime during that week/weekend because I had a midterm and was too busy to make chocolate for you (which I really wanted to do, and it would have been damn delicious, and damn cute, but was really sad that I didn't have the time to do). thought chocolate fondue would be more romantic than buying you chocolate so I went to buy everything in secret (of course you don't know this, this is crazy gf hope-you-noticed-expectation)
we couldn't do fondue with strawberries because you were bleaching your teeth
which is FINE
but you were on and off about it, bleaching for a few weeks, and then not for a few weeks
that week I asked several times if you were, you said yes and no (more variant than every second day)
so okay, fine, no fondue, that's fine we can do it some other time, no big deal. i got over it
though a bit disappointed, more so in the fact that you seemed quite uninterested in the idea (but then again that's crazy gf expectation for you to jump for joy at chocolate strawberries)
okay fine, boyfriend doesn't want to do it (slight feeling of sadness because I'm a fan of chocolate and fruit, and wanted to share, understandable if the other does not want to)
now why was i upset? because i was reminded and felt a bit sad/upset and there's nothing you can do. the only thing that can be done is for me to get over it again. i don't want a whole "now I have to do fondue because gf is upset!" and make it all romantic and do the thing she missed out on doing
no because then i feel worse
and saying "i'm sorry i hurt you" doesn't make it better either because you didn't know what you were apologizing for. yes you made me upset but apologies mean nothing if you don't know why I'm upset
even though we're in a relationship, it doesn't mean that we can't deal with things independently and it doesn't mean that we can magically solve each other's negative feelings.
it seems like a small thing to be upset about, and i agree, but i just can't help feeling like this, but it'll pass.
edit: why is this longer than the original? -.-
"Even a broken clock is right twice a day."