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06-29-2013   #1 (permalink)
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Default Where my life is now.

I have issues. I could try to list them all, and I have tried in the process of drafting this very post, but some are just unimportant and some I can't openly discuss, so I've narrowed it down to the big ones.I'm self-loathing, I get migraines to accompany my arthritis, I can't really interact socially with most people because either they find me too depressing (which confuses me because I'm not depressed in the slightest) or I feel as though extended contact with said individual will only lead to some form of discomfort, and I feel alone.I've been abandoned quite a bit, so feeling alone seems natural, but even with people I'm told are called friends I can't shake the feeling of loneliness. I feel bad about troubling other people with my troubles, so I can't tell anyone how I'm feeling. The only reason I can type this is because it feels more like you'd be troubling yourself in reading this; I know in this instance my thoughts and vocalization aren't invading your mind and ears, and that you're choosing to read so I'm not troubling you. I think I think too much, which in itself makes me feel as though I'm thinking too much. God, if I typed everything I've thought during this I'd have a book for you.But I could forget every single one of my problems. I could forget if I just got some sleep every once in a while, but my biggest problem is I can't sleep. Above all else, I'm just tired. Without the respite sleep provides, all my other problems that could be insignificant become terrors that can only be paralleled to each other. All my life needs is a nap I guess. I don't know why I wrote this. Maybe I just needed to get the fact that I am having problems out in the open. I'm sure this was at times hard to follow because I ramble, and because I'm entirely ignorant on how to format this properly to be soft on the eyes. Sorry about that, and thanks.
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06-30-2013   #2 (permalink)
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10-31-2013   #3 (permalink)
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Maybe you need more sunlight. I learned that sunlight affects human emotions...I'll try to find the source or at least some info about it when I can I guess.


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