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ForTheCity 03-05-2012 11:44 AM

Long distance
 
Okay so I've been going out with my girlfriend for over a year now. By the time she moves back home to SoCal we'll have been together for 1.5 years. I live in NorCal and we both went to school in NorCal.

We've already discussed what will happen to us and although I want to try, I don't see our relationship going anywhere. She has strict parents and even if I did go down and visit she said she can't guarantee she would be able to see me. I don't know what I should do. No I don't have any plans to move to SoCal because I'm working right now. My friend (old college roommate) has asked me to move to SoCal once he graduates from Grad school. Which although I want to, I know the only reason I would want to move is for my gf.

Do you think its pointless to hope? I don't want to give up but as I said is there a point to see her once ever 2 months?

Shnao 03-05-2012 12:19 PM

Long distance relationships are hard. You may feel paranoid, depressed, and lonely.

However, relationships that can withstand it are strong. I don't think it's pointless to hope. Lots of communication helps, in my opinion. Obviously, during the times you do meet, make the most out of it, make her know you cherish being with her. That is, if you two really have strong feelings for each other.

I'm sorta going through the same thing right now. I know if I had the chance to move down to see him, I'd take it immediately. Unfortunately, I'm the one with strict parents and no car.

ForTheCity 03-05-2012 01:51 PM

Hey Shnao thanks for the reply. How long have you and your boyfriend(?) been going out? (I assume its a boy since you said him).

I knew the time would come when my gf and I would move away from each other. We kind of thought about it even when we were still at school, but never gave up much thought until she started her final year. She was suppose to stay for another couple of years for grad school but she decided she just wants to graduate and work and now its too late to think about grad school.

I know I'll cherish all the moments when I'm with her. Planning to visit her every week until the end of school and just make the most of our time.

Also, although I would want to move down for her, I don't think that would be the smartest thing to do. I always told my friends who wanted to move away for their gf/bf that they were stupid. If I did the same thing it would be the same. I always tell people that, you don't know where your life will end up and if you're meant to be you are. If I did move away from home, I don't think it would be for another couple of years.

Shnao 03-05-2012 08:27 PM

No prob, man. Well, that's not something I feel like talking about at the moment, hope you understand.

I agree though, it's not a wise idea. Moving to her would mean leaving your family, your friends, everything important to you. That's really sweet of you though, hope you guys have a good time together while you can.

ForTheCity 03-06-2012 10:21 AM

yeah i understand. thanks for the replies! hope you enjoy your time with him too and i'll try to make the most of my time.

Rhinehart 03-07-2012 11:34 AM

Yeah, it's best to relax and enjoy it for as long as it lasts, like he said. I've been in this kind of situation countless times. Sometimes I've ended it just to avoid getting my hopes up and have them crushed, too. But most of the time, I just let it play through to the end. I've never really had one work out, but I know that there are people who CAN make it work. My friends, Nessa and Kirk, had a long-distance relationship when they were teenagers and to my knowledge, they never really broke up. Might've had a break occasionally, but now they're married and have kids. So yeah, it can be done and any lasting relationship is a beautiful thing.

Queen 03-07-2012 12:17 PM

My friend in Massachusetts is dating a guy in Florida, been about 8 months. They visit each other once every few months. They seem perfectly fine to me. It costs about 200 dollars round trip to visit each other, but they do it anyway.

Queen 03-07-2012 05:02 PM

It still goes to show the lengths some people go. Don't need to make it any lesser of value just because it hasn't been that long.

Would you go every month if it cost about 200 dollars a trip and you're both college students?

Catharsis 03-07-2012 06:14 PM

If she's worth it, you'll do it.

I've broken up with a guy before because I moved to a different city, and it takes 3 hours to see each other. 3 hours is normally not a big deal for most people, but we were busy and apparently we didn't like each other enough (despite a year of dating) to spend that much time driving through traffic.

On the other hand, I have a friend who had just gotten married to her long-distance bf. She lives in the US, and he lives in the Scandinavian region. That's verrry far. They made it through 5 years on LDR before getting married. Maybe because the relationship is worth the fight.

Like I said, if it's worth it, you'll do whatever it takes.

ForTheCity 03-12-2012 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rhinehart (Post 1689060)
Yeah, it's best to relax and enjoy it for as long as it lasts, like he said. I've been in this kind of situation countless times. Sometimes I've ended it just to avoid getting my hopes up and have them crushed, too. But most of the time, I just let it play through to the end. I've never really had one work out, but I know that there are people who CAN make it work. My friends, Nessa and Kirk, had a long-distance relationship when they were teenagers and to my knowledge, they never really broke up. Might've had a break occasionally, but now they're married and have kids. So yeah, it can be done and any lasting relationship is a beautiful thing.

Hey thanks for the reply. I appreciate it. Yeah seeing other people have long distance relationship only gives me hope that I can make it work too. As both of you have said I should just enjoy my time right now and just have fun. :py05:

BATLIGHTNING 07-03-2012 04:17 AM

I know exactly how it is, I have done the distance thing for 2 years now.
My partner lived in Melbourne, Aus originally and then his mother forced him to move to California with her (he grew up there and moved back here when he was 16). We thought it was worth the fight and now he finally has a job and is working hard to come back here to Australia and we can continue things how they were before he moved.

It is hard, but we do heaps of things to try and make it fresh and exciting.
We watch heaps of videos and movies on youtube + skype in sync and play games on iPods and iPhones. He's not into mmo (shame) but we are still happy and have heaps of time to devote to our everyday lives and still can feel as close as we can be!

IcedTeaa 08-14-2012 07:41 AM

If you love her & want to see her then it isn't pointless at all to see each other, even if you can't meet up very often. Me and my boyfriend had to pay 250$ to see each other. We decided it would be best if he paid half it and I would pay the other half, we were really poor at the time but it worked out wonderfully. Like Shnao said, relationships that withsrand long distance are strong.


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