I'm afraid, I am a loser
Well I'm at a point in my life where I start to realize that what I do or try to do, won't affect anything in life. I am sure that I'm ambitious (I think), but all my effort — it seems — has been a waste of time. No matter how much time I spend on studying for a test, the results won't be like expected (or rather like I wish them to be). Yes, I'm talking about education and yes, I'm referring to my very own intelligence. I don't have any special good talents or skills.
I always thought, that if I put as much effort as possible, I would make it to my goals. But honestly, I feel like that all my dreams/my plans are slowly crumbling everytime I look at them. I always wanted to give my best 'saving' as many as opportunities as possible. This could be the reason why I fail. I can't specify in things I want to do. I assigned for many courses, maybe too many for my head to handle. Fine, there's an opportunity next year to deselect a few courses. But I'm afraid picking the wrong one. I don't know what I want. I only know what I definitely don't want. If I were me, I'd deselect physics and stay in biology, but if I re-think, I should just stay in physics, it's cheaper than bio and at least I am not scarred of the teacher like in Bio. But I like biology (without my teacher) more and it's actually something I might specify in... or not. I don't know. Does it even matter at all? I'm anyway bad in all subjects. Argh, maybe I just own a low number of braincells... But I don't drink much, smoke or anything near that. How come I'm still that dumb?How come my friends still can handle all this without problems? (just in case: my friends'd fail helping me, i don't understand a thing and they don't understand how I feel as they don't have to struggle like me).*
Somehow I believe that I'll end up as some bad paid book-keeper in some lame company. Is it just me complaining about this? I honestly thought of giving up... But then again, it's not what I want. Maybe I should just become a golddigger... ah take aside the joke.. actually, I'm a loser.
Maybe it's not a good idea publishing this shīt here. It's pathetic, self-pitying myself.. And it's embarassing. And maybe it might be a temporary condition.. though being now unintelligent means to be forever unintelligent... But can anybody tell me what to do? Can you? It would be very appreciated.
Are you still in Highschool? I'm asking this because you said you don't like your teacher.
^ I just want to know this so I can tell you the wonderfuns of University
You're not the only one that has felt or feels like this. There's always going to be someone better, in one way or another, but you're also going to be better than someone else. I went to a small highschool and I graduated top of my class, but when I entered University, I became 'nobody'. There are people who have perfect or near perfect GPA that balance school, work and even volunteering. It is frustrating seeing my own grades not being as high as I'd like them, but it is a lot of hard work to get where they are. I have friends that get better and worse marks than I in some classes but better in others. Don't fret about it.
Anyway, don't choose something that you're not that interested in to be your CAREER. You're going to be paying money to be educated in that field, you might as well make it one that you're going to enjoy doing for the rest of your life. Saving a couple thousand isn't worth being miserable the rest of your life (I don't know what tuition is like, but it's not that much different where I'm from). Also, don't choose too many courses at once. As nice as it is to experiment, or get done faster, or whatever, your marks will suffer. So what if other people can do it? Know your own limitations.
You are young. Stop putting yourself down. Ask yourself, have you really tried your best? Given your all?
Set some concrete goals. Find something you're really interested in, or something you can cope with, and then focus on getting really good in that. That means never giving up in the face of failure (but always learning from your mistakes), and most of all, believing that you're going to become awesome at what you do.
I'm like you when it comes to choosing classes. I can't choose, because I like everything. However, I found that one golden rule helps: "Which class interests me the most?" I don't care if it's hard or the schedule's inconvenient. The difficulty of a course depends on how much I like it, not how many papers they throw at you. If you like all topics, sit in on every class at least once at the start of the semester, and choose the class with a teacher that excites you.
You're not dumb. IMO only lazy arses can be called dumb, because they didn't bother to jumpstart their brain. Some people may be more talented in one subject or another (e.g. I used to spend days studying Calculus while my friend only spends minutes reviewing notes, and yet she gets one letter grade higher in every exam. Math is her gift). However, you will also have your own strong points (e.g. I am much better at economics and political science compared to math.)
You are right when you say that hard work will get you what you want. Hard work will compensate for what you don't have as a natural talent. Maybe you will not be as good as those who were born with it, but it will get you close, and that's always better than the grade you would have gotten if you never bothered to study those extra hours. In college, there's a class that I am absolutely rubbish at: Accounting. I tried and tried and barely slept studying, yet I barely passed it. I'm glad I still worked hard even though the payoff is still a 'D' on my report card. I would have flunked if I didn't. To compensate for the D, I made sure I got as many As as possible to even out my GPA.
Don't give up. Ever. You only become a loser the moment you give up.
Yeah, it's like they've said. You only lose if you give up. As long as you keep at it, you'll find something you're good at. And if you want to speed up the process, visit a career counselor. I've done some assessments at my local community college that really gave me a lot of insight into my talents. Hell, I could start you off with a multiple intelligences assessment right now. It's a good way to figure out how you learn best and what your proficiencies are.
Birmingham Grid for Learning - Multiple Intelligences (Secondary)
I was given that assessment when I became a tutor at the public library over here. It's really useful and you'll definately discover something about yourself. Your school should be able to get you logged into wois.org to take their assessments. careercruising.com has a great career matchmaker assessment, too. Just ask someone at your school to let you do 'em and you might be surprised how it turns out.
There really are no losers. Everybody has talents, whether they know it or not.
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