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03-03-2012   #1 (permalink)
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Default How to tell a friend?

...that I don't want to do seminar paper and colloquium with her?
Well she expects that it's needlessly to say that I do it with her. She's probably one of my closest friends and I love supporting her in every way but when it comes to school or representations, she exposed to be .. you know... the 'lazy kind' of student. And presenting (colloquium)/writing (seminar papers) is absolutely one of her biggest weaknessess, that's why she'd rely on others.
Now this sounds very selfish and I actually feel a bit bad, but I don't want to mess up my grade like a few years back with her.

...Is that bad? Thanks in advance
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03-03-2012   #2 (permalink)
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Just tell her that you've already decided to do it yourself/with someone else.
Or tell her that you're busy and don't know when you'll be able to meet up with her.

??
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03-03-2012   #3 (permalink)
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First try giving it a go? Maybe if you show her you're serious about doing well, she'll feel that she has to put the effort in too.
If she doesn't do her part, and you're as close as you say you are, then tell it to her straight; ''If you do not pull your weight with this, I don't think we should work together''
If she constantly relies on others to work through her weaknesses, she will never get anywhere, and she'll soon come to realise this too.
 
03-04-2012   #4 (permalink)
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If she's a very good friend of yours you could make her gather information about the topic, do less difficult tasks whilst checking if she's doing it right, giving her advice.

Or you could push her away out of fear for a grade.
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03-04-2012   #5 (permalink)
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I'm in that situation frequently. I make alibis. /shameface


- "Oh, I've already promised to team up with _____. Sorry!" (while frantically texting another person to partner with)

- "I really, really want to do this topic." (The topic being something she dislikes or finds hard to understand.)

- Avoid her.

- "I really want to use this opportunity to spend more time with [my boyfriend / that guy I like / this person I want to get closer with / friend X ] so I will ask him/her to partner with me... I hope you don't mind."
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03-04-2012   #6 (permalink)
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I think, if you really are a close friend. You should tell her the truth, what you think about her lazyness. Not right out loud.

But like. 'Hint'.
Tell her (in a very friendly way) that you expect both to work hard. If she is lazy, try to organize the work between you two. And like, encourage her to do a good work and stop slacking. You will help her this way and it should also make it easier to work together in the future.
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03-05-2012   #7 (permalink)
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Ah thanks for the replies ^^ +reps

But I think I'll go with this
Quote:
Originally Posted by Catharsis
- "I really, really want to do this topic." (The topic being something she dislikes or finds hard to understand.)
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03-05-2012   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Degoutant
Ah thanks for the replies ^^ +reps

But I think I'll go with this
What if she says that she doesn't mind that topic? If I were you I would find a partner first and then tell your friend that someone asked you already.
 

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