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01-21-2012   #1 (permalink)
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icyshadow is on a distinguished road
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Unhappy Looking for some advice

Ok I'm in a current situation where I'm trying to help out a friend. My friend has been refusing to speak to me and avoiding me. The reason is...complicated. As her "special close" friend I am able to make her happy the most. Thing is she has really bad parents and family life is stressing her out. She is sick of the emotional rollercoaster. I make her happy at school but when she gets home again everything goes back downhill. Since she cannot block out her parents due to financial needs she decided to block out things that make her happy. It's quite lonely having the above done to me and I want to help her as much as I can. I decided a plan of action. To get a job with decent pay enough for me to get an apartment for her so she can spend less time away from home. I know what I can do in case of food, water, clothing, and transportation. That is covered. Currently looking for jobs and found someplace hiring. My question is if there is anything else I can do? Brainstorm some ideas for me pretty please.
 
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01-21-2012   #2 (permalink)
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that's so sweet from you how u want her help her to make her happy

your plan so good and you hero!! but..

you should make sure if she want that help or not.... that will make many Problems ...with you and her Family...


tell her try to change her family alittle ... nothing stay the same .. if she ignoring you .. is up to her .. don't help her by Force.. i know u care about her ... But she used to live like that...

to much hard work for you to have apartment ... try at least buy what she want to make her happy...

Careful please:x


always Pray for her to live happy!!
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01-21-2012   #3 (permalink)
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I think the right thing to do is let her be for a while. Let her think before anything else. Let her know that you're there for her and that you will always be her friend, regardless of anything that happens. Tell her that you're her friend and that you wont judge her for whatever reason.

Before you actually get a job and start earning money for her, talk to her first. Some people don't like it when other people try to "make decisions" for them. She may not talk to you as much or push you out for a reason, so just let her figure things out on her own especially if it's about family.
 
01-21-2012   #4 (permalink)
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Sound advice. Thanks for the kind words. I really do think I need to do something urgent fast. Some things I left out are...well I don't want to reveal too much since its personal but I'll give out bits of information. I've known her for 4 years and I've always been there to cheer her up. She has borderline personality disorder so her emotions are more increased then normal. After one night, she can be the most unhappy person I've ever seen in my life. A week ago she acted the same way over a stalker incident. Some pedophile released from jail was tailing her at work and at school. She spent the entire time thinking about it herself. she was so scared and had no idea what to do. The police are incompetent where I live. Very bad at their job and her mother is...let's just say a drunk delusional woman. Father is a racist that is very violent, went to court a few times and I tried to arrest him once. Even after all the things he has done he is still not behind bars. By the way he already doesn't like me. This is just me leaving all the "incidents" out. I'm really worried for her and I can't just sit idly by when I know she is in trouble, especially after hearing how hopeless she feels. I plan to just surprise her with the money. I can see she is keeping me away to avoid me from cheering her up and she seems to be constantly texting her old lover now. That part really makes me jealous, but that is the summarized situation. I can definitely handle a job. I've done more crazy things then I can count.

Last edited by icyshadow; 01-21-2012 at 04:12 AM.
 

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