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08-30-2008   #1 (permalink)
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Default Job application for mcdonalds

Hiho every1 so i've been away cause of school but the weekends here so rejoice!~


This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in
a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If
that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM
LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing
that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.
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08-30-2008   #2 (permalink)
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'My gosh, where do you find this. Dx
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08-30-2008   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hector
'My gosh, where do you find this. Dx
A good magician never reveals a secret does he
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08-30-2008   #4 (permalink)
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you mean you magically copied Tori's thread? xD

I already read this on this forum somewhere...
 
08-30-2008   #5 (permalink)
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Oh wow.

In the real world, a good resume is 100% bullshit. 8D
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08-30-2008   #6 (permalink)
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I'd hire him too, I just happen to not own a mcdonald's that's all.
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08-30-2008   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TogSawks
you mean you magically copied Tori's thread? xD

I already read this on this forum somewhere...
man ur hard to please @@ and if he already posted in then ;o; u cant blame me for trying
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08-30-2008   #8 (permalink)
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Told ya that people here are hard to please, Silver~

Nope, he didn't copy it from me. It's the first time I've read it too~ :P
 

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