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08-14-2008   #1 (permalink)
C.I.A. Rad Bromance
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THINGS MY MOTHER THOUGHT ME:

*My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE-"If you're going to kill each other do it outside-I just finished cleaning."

*My mother taught me RELIGION-"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

*My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL-"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to kick you into the middle of next week."

*My mother taught me LOGIC-"Because I said so, that's why."

*My mother taught me FORESIGHT-"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case your in an accident."

*My mother taught me IRONY-"Keep laughing and I'll *give* you something to cry about."

*My mother taught me OSMOSIS-"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

*My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM-"Will you look at the dirt on the back on your neck!"

*My mother taught me STAMINA-"You'll sit there till all that spinach is finished."

*My mother taught me about WEATHER-"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

*My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS-"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming towards you; would you then listen."

*My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY-"If I've told you once I've told you a million times-Don't Exaggerate!!!"

*My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE-" I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

*My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION-"Stop acting like your father."

*My mother taught me about ENVY-"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

Thanks Mom! ^^
 
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08-14-2008   #2 (permalink)
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lolz were do u get these XD
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08-14-2008   #3 (permalink)
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lawl this is win :0
 
08-14-2008   #4 (permalink)
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Not telling Sanichi~

---------------------

MOTHERS CAN BE SO INSIGHTFUL~

Ben invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful Ben's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between Ben and his roommate and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Ben and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Ben volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Allison and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Allison came to Ben and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. "You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

Ben said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, Ben received a letter from his mother which read:

"Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Allison, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Allison. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"
 
08-15-2008   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Torikakae

"Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Allison, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Allison. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"
OMG lol pwned
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08-15-2008   #6 (permalink)
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He just got owned!
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