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iii.

Posted 08-11-2009 at 03:13 PM by nnnina
The past few days have felt like I've been lifted from gravity & am spinning into a tiny galaxy called euphoria. My friends ask me "Nina, how are you feeling?" & I tell them that I'm happy. But i still have those private moments, when everything feels like its falling to ruins. I had my moments when my belly hurt from laughing and not crying & some moments when I felt light and I could feel something rising from the very bottom of my core. But nothing ever hit to this point where I am.

I feel like I am running on a high that comes from loving life, loving love and just living! Breathing and learning to cope with ache and understanding the emptiness of human exsistance but finding beauty in it at the same time. I am beaming & I feel like crying sort of, and being happy when I cry because it just makes sense to me now.

I have been waiting for this. Something to change the ground from underneath me. I am floating away from gravity & I feel it in my veins like love and sugar in tea.

I make absolutely no sense today but it's okay. My moods are temporary, it scares me how volatile my emotions are. But even if I crumble tomorrow I know that there is more in life than crying over spilled milk and spending my nights inside hoping tomorrow won't be so bleak. I'll have my moments but I'll get over them too & everything will be brighter and clearer and I will make it happen because I gained a brighter perspective on everything. Everything is radiating brighter than the sun. I feel like almost crashing into it (in a good way).

always,
n.

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