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Don't break down; you've been good all semester.

Posted 11-10-2012 at 08:04 PM by kuyaBaka
Updated 11-10-2012 at 08:06 PM by kuyaBaka
I used to be an emotional wreck (see /forum/blogs/kuyabak...rthy-post.html and other angsty posts), but last year and this I thought I've improved a lot. Been getting through life and school without too much drama in the back of my mind. But for some reason now, it's just all coming back.

Why can't I do this?
Why can't I do that?
What the hell is wrong with me?
I feel like for some reason I have so many invisible inhibitions that I'm not even aware of yet.

Maybe it's just because I'm finally alone in my apartment. Two of my roommates left for home this weekend since they haven't visited in a while. My other roommate went out for dinner and a study session out at a milk tea place. I just want to stay inside and bundle myself up in a blanket and play WoW all night. But for some reason I can't get myself to do that. I just kind of want to sit there and stare at a wall for a few hours doing nothing, and that just seems silly.

In my mind, I'm just going from thought to thought; just jumping all over the place. Can't get myself to sit still for a moment and breathe. It might just be the fact that I had three cups of coffee today for really no apparent reason but because the holiday spice coffee creamer I bought tastes so damn good. I keep thinking about how I have yet to get the courage to ask someone out, or the fact that I can't drive, and how I'm already 20 and there's still a shit ton of different things I have yet to do. I feel like an adult, but still restricted as a child.

I'm so much of a wreck right now that I can't even think of a way to finish this.
Just gonna spend the next hour or two watching some Parks and Recreation to bury my mind in warm laughter for a while. Hopefully soon enough to finish my dailies before they reset because I still have yet to touch any of them.

I just want the semester to be over with so I can go back home and spend some time with my family and friends over winter break. I need an emotional recharge right about now.

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