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I don't want anyone to see me like this... but why?

Posted 11-18-2011 at 09:07 PM by kmelfina
Updated 11-18-2011 at 09:15 PM by kmelfina
Checked up last few grades and...

Chemistry: 80

Sociology: 64.6 + 6 pt curve

UGH. I don't know if I understood the concept of electron transfer, and for sociology I didn't check my email when the professor provided study questions that were going to be on the exam the night before the exam which was in a few hours (I was so busy reading the textbook). The sociology exam was open notes, but that didn't help.

Crying is just a waste of energy. Why do I feel so sad? I thought I did well... I don't know, maybe it's the lowest I've felt, ever. I know I did blogs in the past stating I wanted a good average college life but it hit me hard this time. Maybe at the time those "A-" were standard where I've always wanted a "100 perfection". Even if I currently felt "close to perfection but not there yet", getting hit with such low scores... hurts?

I guess this is what failure feels like.

No those weren't the last exams, but I calculated my grades and... I'll end up with a B+ with Sociology, no buts. Even if I did the extra credit which also called for an alternate grading system, it would still end up with a B+.

Goodbye 4.0, I guess it was never meant to be.
I'm ignoring all the knocks on my door, I dont' want my dorm-mates or friends to see me in this sad state. Good idea? *sighs* or do I wish to remain isolated til this phase is over...

If I wanted to kill myself for getting a B+, I'd be dead by now. Since i"m alive typing this, that means I really wouldn't thankfully. Well what would graduating with a 4.0 get me if the job market sucks, since being a teacher could be a competitive field, especially math. Hopefully my old highschool remembers me lol.

EDIT: Well after doing a little more math, the most I'd get in Sociology is a 90% which is an A- if I decided to do the alternative grading scale of 75% Exam + 25% Independent Study. Thinking about future emotions... If I do get a 4.0, I'd feel close to indifferent. If I don't, I'd feel like total crap. I don't know why I'd feel enthusiastic or severely happy if I do achieve my goal, would I treat it as 2nd nature?

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Total Comments 3


  1. kuyaBaka's Avatar
    Welcome to college.

    It's all about survival. If grades don't eat you up, your own conscience will. It's really a test to see if you can handle keeping your sanity while getting by with the minimum.
    Posted 11-18-2011 at 09:44 PM by kuyaBaka kuyaBaka is offline
  2. kmelfina's Avatar
    Reminds me of the class conversation I had in my UNIV 101.

    "What's the bare minimum for you to stay in VCU?"

    Me: 3.5?

    Everyone else: *looks at me with stares and incredulous looks*

    Me: O_O;

    Advisor: Well I like your enthusiasm and high efforts Bien, BUT the actual number is 2.0!
    Posted 11-19-2011 at 09:27 AM by kmelfina kmelfina is offline
  3. JoyDivision's Avatar
    Also, make sure that an A- is actually a 4.0. Most schools actually calculate that as a 3.75.
    Posted 11-20-2011 at 07:45 PM by JoyDivision JoyDivision is offline
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