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Story for that thread about the writing stories with prompts and stuff. [#18 Summer]

Posted 07-07-2010 at 03:21 PM by iFarted
Title: One Summer Day

It is a warm summer day.

“FLUSH”, roared the angry toilet with a great angular velocity.
“Daddy! I am done pooping!” yelled the four year old daughter. She pulled up her shorts and ran up to her dad.
“Hey! You did it! You can go to the toilet on your own now!” praised the dad as he hugged his daughter.
“Can I get ice cream now!?” exclaimed the delighted daughter with a big smile.
“Yes! Celebration Time!”
The dad then looked down and noticed brown smudges all over his polo t-shirt.
“Lily… did you use the toilet paper?” glared the Dad.
“No, I used my hands!” replied Lily with a big grin.
The Dad sighed with disappointment, “Well, I am hungry. Let’s go see what we have in the fridge, Lily.”
The Dad carried Lily in his arms and walked into the kitchen. They both peeked into the old crummy refrigerator with a broken handle hanging from its socket. Only fungus and a broken light bulb were to be found inside the dead freezer.
“Hmm, are you up for a field trip, Lily?” asked the Dad with such enthusiasm.
“Where to?! Where to?!” Lily’s smile widened and her eyes beamed with excitement.
“The Supermarket! It is a place where you can buy many food and drinks.” explained the Dad.
“Even ice cream!?”
“Yes, even ice cream, sweetie. Now put on your shoes and let’s head out”.

Lily put on her Barbie strapped shoes and hopped out the front door. The Dad came out in his dirty old sneakers with various holes on it and locked the door to the dilapidated house. The duo began walking down the calm and peaceful street on the way to the glorious Supermarket. The sun was shining brightly and the pavement was baked nicely with passive heat waves. Sunflowers were blooming next to the sidewalk. Trees were waving back and forth as a gentle breeze flowed right through them. Birds were chirping and frogs were croaking. The sky was crystal clear. It was a relaxing hot summer day.

“Dad, what does nutte and schiesse mean? I heard neighbor daddy calling neighbor mommy a nutte and a schiesse”, asked the curious Lily as she walked side by side with the Dad.
“Hmm, well, I think those are German words, sweetie. Daddy is not German, so Daddy doesn’t understand these words.” said the Dad.
“Oooh, I think I know what they mean! Since neighbor daddy and neighbor mommy are in love, nutte and schiesse must mean love and kindness! Right, Daddy?! Right?!” answered Lily.
“Hehe, uh, sure!” chuckled the Dad.

As they continued walking, they saw a rocket ship with a siren on top. It flew by and stopped right in front of them.
“Whoa! Daddy, Daddy! Look! It’s a rocket!” shouted Lily as she jumped with joy.
Lily kept pointing at the rocket ship and tugging on her Dad’s shirt. The hatch of the rocket ship opened up and came out two fellows in police uniform. Their nametags were named Bob and Tom.
“Good Morning” greeted the kind officer named Bob.
“Hello officers, what can I do for you?” said the Dad.
“Well, we have received recent news that a sicko kidnapper is on the loose. He’s a sicko from what I’ve heard. He cut crop fields into nonsensical shapes and abducts humans and cows just to dissect them” informed Bob.
“Like an alien?!” said the Dad in shock.
“Like an alien… Apparently from witnesses, he looks like a hobo as well. It never ends with hobos. First they want our pity, then our coins, then our sidewalks, and now our precious people and cows. May God have mercy on our souls.” said Bob as he broke down to tears.
“Don’t cry Bob, I’ll give you a back rub on the way home” comforted Tom.
“Thank you Tom” said Bob as he smacked his lips and wiped his tears away.
“What are you guys?!” said Lily in amazement.
“Hehe. Little girl, we’re called Space Cops” said Tom with a smile.
“Whoaaa!!! Space Chops!” shouted Lily with both her hands on her face.
“Yes Lily, these people fly around the universe and beat up bad people!” informed the Dad.
“Haha, here you go little girl. This is called a gun! You can kill people with these!” said a happy Bob as he shoved a gun into Lily’s innocent hands.
“Bob, what the hell are you doing?” said Tom.
“Don’t worry, Tom, the safety is on” laughed Bob.
Lily found a trigger-like button that is called the trigger and pressed it. The gun roared with a bang and the bullet pierced Bob’s arm.
“LILY!” exclaimed the Dad in a panic.
Tom’s jaw dropped to the ground.
Lily dropped the gun in fright and cried.
Bob bursted into laughter and his potbelly shook from his roaring howl.
“Ahahaha! Don’t worry, don’t worry! She shot my prosthetic arm.”, grinned Bob.
“Give the gun back, Lily,” commanded the Dad, “How did you lose that arm?”
“I gave my shotgun to a child and he blew it off.”, chuckled Bob as he got his gun back from Lily.
“Uhh, well then, sorry to trouble you folks,” said Tom with a nervous smile, “Remember to look out for any suspicious hobos”. Tom then dragged Bob back to the rocket ship and closed the hatch. The Dad and Lily then continued their journey to the Supermarket. As Bob and Tom took their seats in the vehicle, Tom noted an observation to Bob.
“Did you notice how that guy’s t-shirt was all muddy and his shoes looked like they’ve been found in a dumpster?”
“Huh… you’re right. And he reeked of sewerage and tacos as well”, remarked Bob.
The two sat in silence and their eyes suddenly widened.

Meanwhile, the Dad and Lily finally reached the Supermarket. The glorious manmade Supermarket that is vastly superior to every puny peasant convenience stores ever existed in the entire planet. They entered into the store and stood in awe. Aisles and aisles of food supplies stretched as far as the eye could see. Numerous beepings from cashier stands were ringing in perfect harmony. Vegetables, diapers, shampoo, hot dogs, everything was available in a one hundred meter radius. People with shopping carts buzzing around, employees walking aimlessly, shoplifters exiting, it was a sight to be seen. Lily ran ahead and quickly got a jar of ice cream from the freezer section. The Dad shopped around and put in food inside his shopping cart. After several minutes of walking, they decided to check out at one of the cashiers.
“Oh, green tea ice cream, you picked a good one” said the Dad with a smile.
“Ja, green tea ice cream is my favorite essen as well” said the German cashier as she scanned the item.
“Are you German!?!?” said Lily in anticipation.
“Ja, ich ist German!” chucked the German cashier.
Lily smiled and said, “I love you! You are a nutte and schiesse!”
The German cashier’s smile quickly turned into an angry frown.
“Sir, what have you been teaching this child!?” snapped the cashier at the Dad.
“Huh? Wha- nothing” replied the Dad in confusion.
“Sir, she just called me a b*tch and sh*t”, said the angry cashier.
“Hahahaha! B*itch and sh*t!” laughed Lily.
“Oh no you didn’t”, said the cashier as she z-snapped.
“Lily! No! Don’t say that!” scolded the Dad as he covered her mouth, “I’m sorry, I’ll make sure she won’t to say those words anymore. I’m sorry.”
The two apologized and quickly walked out of the Supermarket with their bags.
“Okay Lily, from now on, never say those bad words, got it?” reprimanded the Dad.
“Okay Daddy” answered Lily.
“Alright, now let’s cross this street” said the Dad.
Lily nodded and ran out into the street immediately. The police rocket ship flew by and knocked her out into the sky.
“Lily is blasting off agaaaaaiiinn~~”
“LILY!” screamed the Dad.
The hatch opened. Bob jumped out and shouted, “FREEZE BUSTA!”

The End.

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  1. Adun's Avatar
    Oh lawd. That messed up ending made me lol.
    Posted 07-07-2010 at 03:35 PM by Adun Adun is offline
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