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The Obstalces of May

Posted 05-02-2011 at 07:06 PM by Hekutaa
This month will tear my insides out, wear them like a funny hat and cackle insanely while I slowly bleed to death. May is the month born from the depths of the Inferno ready to swallow up those who are not ready, or not worthy for paradise.

May is when everything happens.

May is academic hell on toast.

This week is already beating me up: I have tryouts for Varsity water polo, and I'm by far, the weakest, scrawniest, and slowest kid out of the 50 people who are trying out. Ever since 9th grade, I somehow managed to get on the water polo team with my apparent hard-working ethic. Now, since I'm going into Varsity and there's no room for error, I cannot rely upon my work ethic to get me a surefire way into the team.

Choir has tryouts for next year, too. I've been in choir since 9th grade, any my teacher has upped up the ante for getting into advanced choir. I'm a tenor when it comes to singing, but apparently my vocal chords say otherwise: they want me to be a baritone. And I want the lead chord because it's the vocal range that I'm most used to. But my voice cracks when I try to get into my previous falsetto range, and it will hurt my chances of getting into advanced choir big time.

The SAT, the dreaded test that is the bane of almost every average high school student, is ready to beat my skull into a bloody pulp. I have a horrid tendency to get 1600s on the SAT, but my target is always an 1800. I study relentlessly to get even a tiny iota closer my target score, but nothing seems to help. I just get farther away from the score.

Don't even start with final exams. May is the only month we get before we get to fight the dreaded exit exam for all my classes (I have seven, eight if you count water polo) in four weeks, and the curriculum here is a mixture of learning new material for three weeks, and five days of nonstop reviewing. In retrospect, studying the law of forgetting in calculus (apparently it helps with logarithms) doesn't quite lift my spirits of remembering things.

My body is giving up on me. For the last year and a half, I could thrive on two hours of sleep. For some godforsaken reason, my body decided to throw in the towel at the last leg of the year, the time I need to make use of my waking hours the most. On several occasions during April last month, I set my alarm for only two hours of sleep, but my body refuses to awaken and forces me to rest until my father forcibly wakes me up, four hours later.

Just to add the little cheery on top, my romantic life has gone topsy-turvy. The girl that I have had a crush on for three years, has found a boyfriend, which tore me into shreds. Today, I found out that another girl who I was good friends with (until another friend and I had a super-heated argument that broke our friendship) has feelings for me. Ironically, I want to try to get with the girl who I had a crush on for the past three years. That puts more stress on me because it randomly spikes with depression and simple woe, much to my chagrin. Such feelings inhibit my ability to work, and the time lost will pay for itself accordingly.

And then June 3rd happens: I am free of my junior year and I am ready to take up my Senior year cross! That means I have to work for hours trying to finish my summer assignments for four (or five, depending I take AP Government) AP classes. I also have to attend mandatory water polo practice during the summer, because that's when our coach will tell us if we joined the team or not.

I'm thinking of throwing a gambit this year: No matter how strong, how fast, or how effective I work, I will always set my limit higher than I an ever achieve. Hopefully, in unattainable dream could be enough to get my sullen mindset out of the gutter.

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