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“I’m not a concept. Too many guys think I’m a concept or I complete them or I’m going to make them alive, but I’m just a ****ed up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind. Don’t assign me yours.”
-Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind
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Relationships, love and sexuality

Posted 07-28-2012 at 03:57 PM by Degoutant
Updated 07-30-2012 at 03:10 AM by Degoutant
I guess I am back to blogging after the latest rant I've just written (which fails lol).
Anything new? Well nothing really, I have summer break. Soon to be in grade twelve.
I dunno, actually I just decided to blog, because I have the feeling that it'd give my summer vacation more sense. I basically have no real fun plans anymore, since my first plans got cancelled. I wanted to go to spain for your information.
Oh well, I guess I will have to spend my time working. I have two jobs (that's why I'm quite proud at myself like Julius from the series "Everybody hates Chris" - 'I don't need that, my husband has two jobs' lol insider.)
However, I've met some people and talked about everything especially about

relationships, love and sexual intercourse.

And after our cup of tea, I realized that I'm extremely 'outdated' as in, stuck in the days, where virginity was a valueable feature a woman had.
Yes, I've kind of planned my life superficially (even though I'm a super spontaneous person), which includes no sex before marriage or at least to save the 'first time' for 'the right one'. I've put those words in quotes, because the people I talked with had complete different point of views. They told me that sex is not a forbidden subject at today's age (which I somehow agree with). It's awesome and it's love and etc and also that men have no interests in unexperienced girls. They were about my age, that's why they made me re-think about my attitude (I am not even religious). I am 17 years old and never had a boyfriend, because I felt it wasn't the right thing to do at my age. But looking at others, they already had theirs at an age of 14 or so lol. Am I missing something out in my girlhood respectively adolescent life?
I wonder whether virginity is really overrated or not. Should I just take off the self protection and 'live the life'. Am I really that square and narrow minded?

I would really want to know the opinion from a neutral person.

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Total Comments 8


  1. kuyaBaka's Avatar
    If it makes you feel any better, I'm turning 20 in 2 months and I've never had a real boyfriend/girlfriend.

    As far as virginity goes, just go with your gut. Do you feel comfortable doing it? Are you willing to have intercourse with this other person? Don't just get it over with like it's nothing. Think of it this way: you want your sex life to be freaking amazing with someone who knows you to treat you right and makes you feel good.
    Posted 07-28-2012 at 04:27 PM by kuyaBaka kuyaBaka is offline
  2. Degoutant's Avatar
    Yeah, I feel better.. somehow. I almost thought it wouldn't be very common to be single with 17 years and older.
    However, "going with my guts": Since you said you've never had a boyfriend/girlfriend before either, I'm guessing you're virgin as well? Are you as virgin comfortable with it? If not, then how do you know that you'll ever be comfortable with it? I honestly think I'll never be comfortable doing it, even talking openly about the interaction is uncomfortable for me. Thinking about exposing my whole body to someone else is just horryfingly weird, extremely awkward and overwhelmingly embarassing (never were good to put my feelings into words).
    I dunno, maybe I really need to mature BUT I'm afraid that this might never happen ......
    Posted 07-28-2012 at 05:47 PM by Degoutant Degoutant is offline
    Updated 07-28-2012 at 05:49 PM by Degoutant
  3. kuyaBaka's Avatar
    Yup, I'm still a virgin. And I'm comfortable with it. It's just the people and friends I hang out with are on the same page I am, so I don't feel so pressured into doing things like that. I feel like it's only uncomfortable if you're under constant pressure about it and you just think about it all the time. I've got a ton of other obligations and other things to worry about rather than my virginity or where I am sexually.

    I'm pretty confident that I will be comfortable with it, and I only say that because I can say that I'm sexually curious. I do things like masturbate and watch porn pretty often (hah, a confession from me), and I'm ok with that. It's just about the confidence you have to be ok with yourself that lends a hand in allowing you to let go of these inhibitions and awkwardness.

    Just bump up that confidence, then you'll feel a lot better about yourself. Chin up!
    Posted 07-28-2012 at 07:43 PM by kuyaBaka kuyaBaka is offline
  4. Jessica's Avatar
    My first time was when I was 18. I regret it every day because I did it too early. Don't feel weird about it or give into temptations, and wait until you find someone who's really special to you. And if your friends try to pressure you... Just don't.
    Posted 07-30-2012 at 02:47 AM by Jessica Jessica is offline
  5. Degoutant's Avatar
    Thanks for being that honest haha.

    Well, I guess yes, sometimes I feel I am put under pressure, especially because the people I know in my age talks a lot about sexuality and like when I tell them that I can't help them with <insert something dirty here>, because I am still a virgin, they give me that look. And it's kind of uncomfortable when they talk about the interaction and I just stand there smiling but don't know anything. :s
    But I guess I'll just wait.. I don't want regret it after.
    The boys here usually don't get why we girls are so sensitive about the first time.

    Anyway thanks for the head up's guys!
    Posted 07-31-2012 at 05:58 AM by Degoutant Degoutant is offline
  6. Queen's Avatar
    If you're not comfortable with your own body 100% (and I mean 100%), you're probably by ready. Once you cross the line, it's in your life 5ever. I lost mine at 17 and I'm still with my boyfriend so I don't regret it. I'm a lot older than you but eventually all your friends will swap stories about this and that (like your friends are now) and it'll never stop. My friends and I talk often about it.

    If you're not comfortable with exploring your own body, you're not ready for someone else to do the same. I don't want to get into too much but like I said, you cross the line as don't go back. Someone will always talk about it and you'll chime in on the conversation. Not everyone is so open but you'll be sure to have one person who always likes to tell stories.

    tl;dr: if anything about it makes you uncomfortable then you're not ready. This includes masturbating (which I learned cause I went to a very forward women's college, is extremely healthy/normal and girls go all ew but it makes you more confident with partners/you know hat you want, and being comfortable with your body is always good)
    Posted 07-31-2012 at 07:32 AM by Queen Queen is offline
  7. Bliss's Avatar
    I feel a little old here, I'm 21, and I lost mine when I was.. 19 years old I guess.. I regret losing it in a way or two. It was a spur of the moment decision which lead to very bad consequences (for me @_@).

    Culture wise, virginity is something very special here (I live in a country that's 'very' religious) so community varies.

    Like Settie said, don't pressure yourself, and don't give in to peer pressure.

    Put it this way, they could never have what you have right now while you have the choice of losing that whenever.
    Posted 08-02-2012 at 04:27 AM by Bliss Bliss is offline
  8. Degoutant's Avatar
    Yeah, I heard, when you "cross the line", sex will be always in your life, which I do believe (if it's really that good).
    Well from your points, Dare, I really do not believe I am ready. I feel uncomfortable exploring my own body and to tell the truth, I haven't even seen myself completely naked (like everything!) AND therefore no, I haven't tried masturbating yet also.

    As for benwiki, I think you're from an asian country, right? Well, I live in Germany, which is completely creedless (if that's the right word) and I am afraid kind of afraid that no men would've interest 'sleeping' with me because I have no experience!

    But okay, I guess time will tell and I shouldn't think about it too much.. :s

    Thanks a lot!
    Posted 08-06-2012 at 11:31 AM by Degoutant Degoutant is offline
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