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Posted 08-16-2010 at 01:31 PM by 7hatGuy
What? I can't be lazy? Well das not cool, maybe I should do something.

Oh, I remember what it was now.

So with the current day of arrival with Comiket 78 (huzzah), it was also the release of the newest Touhou game, (Great) Fairy Wars! Numbered as 12.8, I decided to delve into how Cirno sees the world (because she's an idiot and everything)

Yay for a half decent looking Cirno

So anyway, yeah, lets start with the basics.

It's a combination of:
1) The normal games of the series
2) The photo games

Now you might be saying at this point:
Impossible! No one could do that!
You're crazy
You just suck at Touhou games
<insert derogative>
Well I have you know that most of those trues, except the third one and possibly the 4th one.

You have your normal shots (ctrl or c), your SAVE-ME-GODS-OF-LIVINGINESS button (aka bomb, aka x) and then you got your lolbarrier (aka Ice Barrier, aka z). But wait! I typed lolbarrier, but what is the lolbarrier? Easy.

Remember earlier how I said that it's a combination of the photo games? Here it is. The barrier is used anywhere from 30-100% charge, with higher % obviously being more time. The barrier, I'll have to admit, is a very cool (no pun) mechanic. It freezes bullets, helping you not relive your nightmares of trying to get that one last photo in the camera games. Not only that, but bullets that touch any frozen one, also chain and freeze themselves! Basically, iced ones = freeze all that touch me. And...

*listens to someone whispering*

Ok, let me reword part of it. Not COMPLETELY relive your nightmares. Because there are some bullets which laugh at Cirno and proceed to punch her in the face for even looking at them.

I call these "I hate you" bullets

These ones are the "DIE DIE DIE" bullets, note the left one

We like to call these abominations, since they only live to make your life a living hell.
  • I hate you bullets (aka fireballs)
    This things are immune to the normal freezing barrier. So you basically just rely on your normal instinct and dodge them. They travel at various speeds, ranging from "hang on, i'm having a heart attack", to "KAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHN!!!" speeds.
  • DIE DIE DIE (aka laser)
    These ones? Hah, hope you liked thinking you might be good at this game, because these ones will make you think otherwise. Now see, you weren't able to see it in the lolscreenshot I took, but they pretty much exist to make sure that, well, die. Painfully. Remember how I stated that bullets get frozen? Yeah, meet the anti-freeze. They punch a hole through frozen bullets, and then create the little dot bullets THAT CAN'T BE FROZEN ASIDE FROM A BOMB

Enough of that crap, let's get to some actual meat of the game.

First, the stages!


Yeah, there's a little "route" system involved. You got three routes, which are the regular stages plus the extra via usual no continues used game play.

Enemies come, go pew pew, you pew/freeze back, prolly cry a couple of times, then head to the boss.

Your shots are increased based on a "experience" system, which basically translates into, "freeze more for strongerness". The more of the screen you cover in frozen bullets, the faster you level.

Oh, yeah, enemies on a frozen bullet(s) when they shatter receive damage, which from experience, is one of the fastest ways to hurt bosses.

You fight the same three bosses, their might be slight differences in telling the story, I haven't bothered to read the translation. The only thing it does is basically prevent the first boss from being the third one.

Yeah, only three bosses this time around (I'm not counting midbosses, that's just retarded). The order you do them in determines how hard the stage and boss are, along with the spell cards (2nd boss usually has fireballs, whereas the 3rd one will have fireballs AND lasers -_- ). Also, the bosses are all different in their cards, so there really isn't any copy/paste for them.

*someone whispers again*

...don't forgot to take that cyanide pill


Yes, THREE BOSSES AT THE SAME TIME! Now hey, it can't be that hard, they share the health bar and...

*person whispers again and then is shot*


Gentlemen and gentleladies, it was nice knowing you.

*guns empty*


Well my friends, if you manage to keep any sort of shred of sanity playing this game, congratulations. I tried playing it and was only filled with rage due to the numerous poundings that I received.

I felt like writing this on a whim, so if you were bored reading it, just imagine I'm doing this:

and probably dying.

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  1. BriGuy92's Avatar
    Out of sheer curiosity, were you by any chance dead tired while writing this? Usually your posts are marginally more sane.
    Posted 08-16-2010 at 03:14 PM by BriGuy92 BriGuy92 is offline
  2. 7hatGuy's Avatar
    I think I might've just woken up when I wrote it. It was something that was in the back of my mind and I lazily tried to take screenshots while my face was going dead as Cirno
    Posted 08-17-2010 at 09:35 AM by 7hatGuy 7hatGuy is offline
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