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12-22-2010   #1 (permalink)
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Default [Mental] How do you deal with an inferiority complex?

How exactly do you do this? And I'm going to go on and say that I have an extreme case of this. Countless times, I just feel like I'm inferior to everyone else. I feel like I don't deserve my boyfriend. That I feel since my boyfriend has friends and I don't, that I'm a loser. I don't have a job at the moment, so I feel like a failure. My mom is causing drama between me and my boyfriend, so I feel like I'm a bad child. Whenever people talk down to me, I take it personally and it hurts. I already have very low self-esteem and confidence from my childhood.


Is there a good way to deal with this or cope with it? Because painful things happen on occasion and I'm tired of feeling like this.
 
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12-22-2010   #2 (permalink)
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Personally I think that you're on the right track of understanding what's wrong with yourself at the moment, since you already know what's CAUSING it, and you're WORRYING about it, which I believe is a good sign.

First most important thing is to fix your own confidence. I know it's easier said than done, and I don't know you well, but I can tell you this. You're NOT a bad child, and you are not inferior to everyone else. Everyone is worth something and have their good points and bad points. (AKA no one's perfect.) But well... I think your boyfriend is really caring about you. D: If it was any other boy, your boyfriend will be all "Huh. So it's that way with your mother? Okay bye." and just walk off the door. But he stayed behind. o.o/ And I believe your boyfriend cares alot about you too. Why not talk to him about it? If it makes you feel better, alot of my friends don't even have a partner to begin with.

When people talk down about you, try to analyze what went wrong and all. I used to have that kind of problem too when I was young. XD; You can't blame yourself during your childhood. You still haven't known much yet, but now you learned from those mistakes and noticed you have something wrong. o.o/ People keep telling you but you STILL refuse to change is a sign of stubbornness. Try thinking positive instead of negative, Nii.

Well just think of it this way... If you think you're inferior, you are inferior. Try thinking more positively. ^^/
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12-23-2010   #3 (permalink)
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Nobody lives without a cause. Remember that, know the reason why you live (the inevitable "meaning of life" for you), and remember that every life is sacred.

I used to be like you too, a terrible self-esteem. Then someone literally pushed me to a ravine and told me, "Jump. You have no self-confidence, and much less the will to carry on with life. Jump". Then it hit me, I must always have confidence to back my words, and even for a pitiful human, I still have a worth in living.

Perhaps, having some appreciation for things around you would help too. Like Arturia said, you have a wonderful boyfriend. Anyone short of having patience will be like "Piss off, you're on your own now because I'm being hated dohohoho". He trust that you will pull through, and that's why you must not betray that trust.

Remember these words, "If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won before you have started.". All lives are sacred. Its just up to you to value yourself.

I'd really like to help, but it pains me when I can do nothing to help things like these. Ultimately, I can't make the choice, but its your ultimate choice. One who drowns him/herself will only fall to darkness.
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Last edited by Kisaragi; 12-23-2010 at 02:08 AM.
 
12-26-2010   #4 (permalink)
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Have the same problem.

Don't know if this will actually make you feel any better.
People like us tend to have a lot more patience, don't get angry easily, we accept everything (metaphorical sense), can't really say no when someone needs our help and don't lie as much.
(Do tell me if i'm wrong)
If i'm right, those are all good traits you have and therefore you aren't that inferior.

As for the cure, i'm afraid i don't have it.
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12-27-2010   #5 (permalink)
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I have this problem too x_x college people hurt more tho... I just try to ignore them and they leave me alone for the day (then it starts again next day wooo)

I has no cure either >:

@kag - I feel I'm exactly like that Q_Q
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01-06-2011   #6 (permalink)
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hm, i used to be very similar. the way i coped with it and i'm not really sure if it would work for you is by just trying in anything you do whether its you trying your best or half of what you can try, eventually you should realize that there will always be people better than you and worse than you. You should hopefully also realize that you have good points and bad points. A decent way to start out to get yourself to try is by thinking to yourself things like "eh, i'm pretty bad at [name whatever you're doing], but i'll see how i do." Always know that theres someone metaphorically speaking, "below" you, but don't think too highly of that or else you could get cocky and over confident.

Sorry if its confusing and doesn't really make much sense, but i hope it helps.

Anyway, good luck.
 
01-23-2011   #7 (permalink)
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At some point you will just explode, and completely change from the quiet girl you are to someone that can say what's on her mind. Like I have. Just because it gets too much, and you won't take it anymore. Believe me, it happens if you get pushed far enough.

Never stop believing in yourself though, even when you're about to give up. Giving up is never an option. Don't -let- people talk bad about you, but at the same time if they do, don't let them see it affects you. Sooner or later it will stop.

Also, you shouldn't care about what other people think of you. It doesn't concern them. It's -your- life, it's your decisions, in the end it's gonna be you and the one you love (& your kids? etc.) Not those random people that talk about you.

Stop taking things too serious, if they talk bad about you just laugh and forget.
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01-25-2011   #8 (permalink)
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I would be an ass saying this, but just stop being inferior? What makes you inferior can also be a strength. If you have no friends then you can easily work on your self experience compared to people who give time for their friends. Have no job? Then you're free to do whatever you like, including finding a job.

Look at life in a different direction and you can see so many people around the world are inferior yet, they can still strive.
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01-30-2011   #9 (permalink)
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The way you describe the symptoms makes me think i probably had it a little while ago >_>"... if interested, can see some of my older posts in life and relationships. BUT one thing that helped me was being away from everything. For the past 2 months and a bit i was overseas away from all the usuals. There was this friend of mine that i spent a lot of time with, all we do is go out randomly, do random things and eat, a lot of gaming too in that. For several occasions i opened up myself and told him how shit i think of myself. He started asking me questions and convince me that i'm a lot better than what i may think i am. Eventually i gained a bit of confidence in myself, not only that, my major concern of getting a partner ceased to concern me. I think you just need a break from everything with a good friend that would show you the difference between reality and what you think about yourself.
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