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04-27-2010   #1 (permalink)
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Angry 22 year old refuses to take a Shower/bath >_< HELP?!

My brother who is 22 yrs old and the last time he had a shower/bath was sometime in June/July of LAST YEAR.... He now refuses to take one since then.

What he usually does is just get up, brush his teeth,go back into his room and lays in the bed throughout the rest of the day and my parents and other of my families have been trying to encourage him to take a shower/bath. He still refuses! Why won't he listen? >=(

He also yells at my mom by saying "LEAVE ME ALONE" and not to mention his room is a MESS... he never cleans his room.... we tell him many times to clean it, but always feels like we have to do it for him.

I'm surprised whenever he goes somewheres, they don't kick his butt out from the places...

Anyways.... He Still refuses to shower/bathe no matter what we try to tell him...

Any ideas? =/
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04-27-2010   #2 (permalink)
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Wait... he's 22 and your parents put up with his crap? Seems to me like he's living off of your parents. Hell, I'm surprised your parents haven't given him an ultimatum with either getting his shit together or getting kicked out.
 
04-27-2010   #3 (permalink)
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Yea I agree, as a parent I'd tell him to get a job and throw him out. I would never accept my son or daughter to do like that.
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04-27-2010   #4 (permalink)
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Pico, He won't be kicked out of the house because:
1. He barely has any money
2. He doesn't have a job

I've been trying to get answers from certain different sites and all i get from anyone else is just to see a doctor. I was hoping to solve this situation w/o seeing a doctor

@Mums: He is LAZY.....PURE LAZY.... he just sits in his room like a COUCH POTATO =w=;
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Last edited by Esper; 04-27-2010 at 03:00 PM.
 
04-27-2010   #5 (permalink)
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This is why an ultimatum is necessary. It gives him the option of either sink or swim. He's 22. He's not a little boy nor a teenager but an adult. He's taking for granted your parents hospitality and taking advantage of it. With that being said, your parents have to basically enforce him to take a bath, stop lazying around and pretty much find a job for him to change the behavior. I do wonder why he doesn't want to bathe though. The smell from bad hygiene is horrendous.

Last edited by Pico; 04-27-2010 at 02:58 PM.
 
04-27-2010   #6 (permalink)
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It seems he's unwilling for any change, so any mention of a doctor would cause an uproar.

Instead of asking him /taking him to see someone, bring someone to him. He needs to learn lessons of hygiene or he can get ill.
At his age he's not learnt anything about cleanliness, and refusing to wash is kinda a disgrace.

Does he ever go out?
 
04-27-2010   #7 (permalink)
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I'll let my parents know about this; thanks Pico. Hopefully, this would work out *feels like throwing him into a river* OTL Nah, i kid about the throwing in a river part. Unless if he likes being a rotten potato then so be it, but he doesn't know that if he doesn't take one; he'll get sick.
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04-27-2010   #8 (permalink)
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Of course he won't do anything about it if he's not forced to. The least he can do is to pay for himself at home by getting a half time job at maybe some food store or what ever. I think your parents sound very tolerant since they are letting him go on like this.

Pico is right, he should be given the option to either sink or swim.
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04-27-2010   #9 (permalink)
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AimeeXO: He does go out, to like restaurants and other places... tho i'm surprised they don't kick him out =/ Wish they would realize how bad he smells ._.; Um, i don't know who i can bring over to talk to him.

EDIT: Then again, my parents aren't very strict. My mom is too nice and my dad...uhh well...He rarely visits us seeing how my parents are Separated
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Last edited by Hayaka; 04-27-2010 at 03:03 PM.
 
04-27-2010   #10 (permalink)
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Counsellors, health visitors, you could just go to a doctor for advice [he doesn't need to know that] -- you could just explain the situation to them, and they can try to help.

Maybe there's a reason why he's like that, and in that case him seeing someone could be good in more ways than one.
 
04-27-2010   #11 (permalink)
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Hikikomori in the works.

He needs a major wake up call, so a threat to remove his ass from the house will either wake him up and force him to face up with reality, or sink him to the point he lives on the streets.

But without what he probably calls necessities "Television, Computer" he will eventually crack and may find a job just to satisfy his need.

If he wants to be a lazy NEET, then he has to do it on his own accord, not leech off of others.
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04-27-2010   #12 (permalink)
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Thanks for all the advice possibilities, everyone. I'll see what we can do about it D: *Hopes for him to wake up and to take action D<
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04-27-2010   #13 (permalink)
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I remember a news report of a 12 year old girl who got tazered by police for not bathing. Could always look into getting that arranged for your brother.
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04-27-2010   #14 (permalink)
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Hide the toilet paper. He has to defecate sometime. Then when he can't wipe he will be forced to shower or live with it. If he choses to live with it. Seek psychiatric help immediately. Have him committed.
 
04-27-2010   #15 (permalink)
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This is disgusting. A grown man child? Seriously there are homeless people who would love to shower and the fact he doesn't do anything but sleep/stink up the place needs some discipline. Toss him out of the house and see if he loves bugs all over him and it'll also serve as disciplinary action.
 
04-27-2010   #16 (permalink)
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Eww. That's nasty! That's almost one full year without a shower. He must smell really bad.
Is there a reason WHY he won't shower? If he brushes his teeth, why not just shower while he's in the bathroom?
Your brother is old enough to take care of himself. How is he going to live by himself if you guys aren't there to nag him? He needs srs discipline or counseling. It's not normal for a 22-year old man to be like this.
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04-27-2010   #17 (permalink)
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Pour a pail of water on him to wake him up to his senses.
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04-28-2010   #18 (permalink)
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No point into asking him to why he won't take a shower as he never answers....he just gives a Shrug look and that's it =/

He does it everytime
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04-28-2010   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hayaka
No point into asking him to why he won't take a shower as he never answers....he just gives a Shrug look and that's it =/

He does it everytime
So its about time you knock some senses into him physically! Splash water on him.

I can't believe he could live on without bathing, the thought of it is so... I won't even dare to touch anything in my house if I was dirty...

if normal water doesn't work then use either hot water or ice cold water or ice.
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04-28-2010   #20 (permalink)
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What does he do in his room tv/computer/internet/radio take all those away....
 

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