To: You
不是我不愿意, 是因为我还在尝试.
I want this love to be in a different form.
I want to feel your love even if it's just an occasional cyber *hug*.
I want to hear sweet nothings from you because you've never done that until now.
I want to be cherished for being around and not be treated like obsolete because of request.
I know it normally takes you awhile to be able to understand what I'm trying to tell you.
But listen, don't be offensive, don't be angry. I am just trying to make things work for us. Not being able to get together physically now seems to be one factor I'm trying to overcome.
I wanna feel that you need me, I wanna feel that you wanna talk to me about something. Even if I can only be a listening ear.. About talking with you everyday.. "不是我不愿意, 是因为我还在尝试."
What can you give me in this r/s , what are you planning to do for me , what have you gave me so far ?
I feel like I'm in 'his' shadow and as times goes by, I feel worn out for not being able to keep up with what he can do when he was with you, be it driving over to find you, talking with you online/phone everyday.
If you love me a as much as I love you, hold me back, pull me back. Not push me away.
I dislike a minority bunch of your friends for the conversations between you and them always makes me get uncomfortable. Maybe I'm thinking too much but it's definitely not about 'Not trusting you'. I trust you, but I do not dare risk it when we ourselves are not on a solid foundation right now. How many times have humans failed the trust graced upon them. Imagine we have our roles swapped, how would you feel, if that's the way I'm talking to opposite gender friends of mine. I'm sorry but I can only be realistic and feel what is presented right in front of me.
There's so much I wanna tell you but there's only so much on my mind now.
I don't if being too focused on my work these days would make you drift away from me, I don't know. Study hard in class now.. 좋은 공부.
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