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12-28-2012   #7 (permalink)
TsveTokSmirTi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nebula
You probably also feel more comfortable saying it out loud to people who are far far away and will not stare at you in some judging manner after you tell them something very personal.

Do you feel like you have wasted amounts of time?
Have you got some goals to motivate you?

I do not think I can really say anything to help, however noticing your flaws is the first step to fixing them.
I think you may want to try things that do not seem like obvious solutions. And if you need a goal lr something to drive you forward, why not make it 'to make myself feel like I have a purpose again'?
I do feel more comfortable talking about it with people who are like on this forum, for the very reason that you stated. Also I guess the thread did have a point, although while writing it I didn't have any goal in mind. I see how there clearly is one though.

No amount of time that I've lived feels wasted. I have a very different perception of time than most people, I think time is never "wasted" because no matter what you are doing or what your ambitions are, time goes on without you. It is but a measurement of happening, and until there is no longer being, time is not being wasted. This is just what I think, my thoughts might be very diluted or unrealistic but it is what I think nonetheless.

Also, I don't have any goals to motivate me. After thinking more about what you, sunniiee, and math have said I've realized that this is the problem. I agree with you, Gemini, that pills can not produce genuine happiness. I've found that out myself, and have given up relying on such methods to be who I want to be. Even though I may have severe chronic depression and issues with anxiety, I think there may be other ways to overcome those issues. I've tried to "fix" myself for so long by focusing on curing my depression and anxiety through medication and/or therapy but I think I may just need to focus on bettering my life one step at a time through different ways.

Even though I may have very little feeling towards many things in my current state, I think what I need to do is just try a few new things with my life. Talk to new people, give them a chance. Try out some new hobbies. I want change, I've looked for change, but I suppose even though I haven't found the change I want I must keep looking. I need to find something to motivate me..That is a goal, and there is a point to it. It makes me happy that I've at least found somethingI can focus on. Now I just need to try harder, I guess. I really don't like putting in a lot of effort to get what I want, but I suppose that's the most realistic thing to do and I need to do more of it.

I'm going to take myself on a journey to find something to motivate me to live and enjoy life. I thank all of you for helping me take this small step to happiness. I may feel empty now..but I'm sure I can find something to fill that void. The least I can do is try. For myself and for those who care about me.

It sounds really simple, really. I'm surprised I couldn't have come up with a solution like this myself. I guess that's what depression really does to me. I fail to see the really simple, beautiful things in life. I fail to appreciate because my mind is so clouded. It isn't even a solution. More like a hypothesis. But I'm determined to try and find something..Thanks again, all of you. You may think you've done very little bit it's all helpful insight and I appreciate your trying to assist me with my problem.
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Last edited by TsveTokSmirTi; 12-28-2012 at 05:58 PM.