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12-15-2012   #43 (permalink)
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IGN: Nondi
Class: Pusher to_sheep
Guild: Celeste
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SOLUS FUNTIME THEATER

Elves:
Elves are possibly the oldest mortal creatures around. They are known for their ridiculously good looks, ridiculously long lives, and their seemingly biological prudishness. Elves don't typically start aging until they're around seven-thousand years old, and even then it takes a long time. Elves make good wizards as they are born with absurdly large magic circuits and a close connection with all things natural. As most of you know, this makes them coveted for their WiFi abilities.

Most Elves live in the city of Elfheim, which is very old fashioned in its ways. It is speculated that no single Elf in Elfheim knows that Elfheim is also the world's largest WiFi hotspot. This is due to the High Wizard's totalitarian reign over the Elven people. People from all over Solus gather around Elfheim to take advantage of its miraculous WiFi and high speed aethernet connection. Elfheim is also home to some of the largest filehosts, and aethernet providers in Solus. If anything were to happen to Elfheim, the aethernet as a whole would be compromised.

Elves can broken down into three distinct races:
1. The "Pure Blooded" Elves which claim to have existed since Solus was created. They make up the majority of the Elven species, yet they are very rarely seen outside of their home massive home city of Elfheim.

2. The Wood Elves which probably have more in common with trees than pure blooded elves. Wood Elves are know for being partially wooden and being really laid back in comparison to "Pure Blooded" Elves. They have no homeland, are usually hermits, and are shunned by Dark Elves and "Pure Blooded" Elves alike. They are extremely rare, yet they are the longest lived of all the Elves.

3. Dark Elves which splintered away from "Pure Blooded" Elves after disputes with the High Wizards over WiFi costs. Yes, it's true, Dark Elves are largely differentiated from "Pure Blooded" Elves by their beliefs about WiFi. While "Pure Blooded" Elves provide free WiFi in Elfheim, but offer external aethernet services and filehosting for free, Dark Elves both charge for WiFi and aethernet and filehosting services. This is not a "petty difference", and this not make Elves a "species full of elitist jackasses who are obsessed with the aethernet". We don't make those kind of SPECIST comments here. Anyway, Dark Elves live in Woldtswold, which is kinda like their Elfheim but ruled by a singular queen and painted black. There is a lot more to it than that, but you can read about that in the Woldtswold section of the manual.