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09-22-2012   #9 (permalink)
Mirage
deny 'til you die
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Oh, Michiko, I really do feel your pain. I really do. My dad has tendencies like yours as well (though they aren't as bad).

I've actually coped with it over the years by locking myself in my room similarly to you. Although, it doesn't do much (seeing as you know that already). I suggest what you could do is get a job. It might make him stop complaining about you being in your room, as well as get out of the house more. I find that leaving the house actually calms me down because I can get away from everything. Plus, you can earn some extra money~

Or, if you don't want a job / don't have time, or whatever, just try getting out more. I don't mean like go to parties or try to hang out with people. Just get up and walk out the door. Go for a stroll somewhere. If you can drive, go drive around. Volunteer to do groceries. 'Cause really, getting out of the house makes you really think about what's happening and your choices.
Also, you could melt and weep and cry all you want in a car without anyone questioning you. Crying actually helps a bit, as you can let your emotions come out freely. Of course, please don't do any self-harm. I've seen it done, I've thought of doing it, and I've done it before. Even if you think you feel better from it, nothing gets better. You're just doing more harm to yourself and you aren't making the problem any simpler, either.

I agree with Esperetta in that you should move out as soon as you can. Get away from that house every single fudging moment you can. The less you hear your dad yelling, the better for you. I also agree that you shouldn't take to heart what your dad tells you, because really, verbal abuse is just that. It's verbal. There's no proof to anything unless he has physical proof of it (is how I always thought of it). But don't tune him out; do that, and things get messy. Fighting back and/or crying won't help either, so just bear with it. Don't look at him, focus on something else near him, so that he doesn't yell at you for not paying attention or anything stupidly irrational like that.

Lastly, I beg of you for this, do not argue back. As you've said, when saying something to disprove your father, he seems to get even angrier. Please, just let him blow out his original anger and then leave. Just that. Do not say a word unless spoken to, that's my rule of thumb. Don't say anything.

I don't have much more advice to say before it starts rambling, but I will say this: Work just a bit longer, and soon, you'll be out of that place. At age 18, I'm sure you can move out / have some sort of freedom.
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