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05-29-2012   #13 (permalink)
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IGN: Alluria Fior
Class: DRK
Guild: Discourse <SALT>

I have a friend who I literally did everything for... she had a mentally abusive relationship with this guy for over a year and I kept telling her (at the least) she had pushed me aside, from what I know I am her best friend. Her parents are like my second parents and every summer in high school I spent at least a month straight with her at her summer home in Vermont. We literally have everything in common, from our eating habits to our hobbies (video games ha). But she's really frustrating to deal with. She's said that when she's talking to people online, she can only focus on one person. I don't really agree with that. How can you be SO into talking with someone that she couldn't talk to me? It was awful when we started college... she'd been with the guy for like 8 months by then. I kept trying to talk to her and it'd take like 40 minutes in between messages, and all I get was a "sorry I'm bad at multitasking". I was there for her when her boyfriend broke up with her for "not being happy enough about the school he got in", I was there for her when she didn't know what to do about him, or the days she wanted to get out, I was there.

Honestly, I can hardly remember a time she was there for me. When she was with him, there were many times I was done with her. We had our one huge argument when we graduated, too. The story is, I graduated and had my party the week after. She said she couldn't go cause she was driving down to see the abusive boyfriend. I was so upset I just went all-out lashing (I had already been there to support her a few times before that, and I've been there for her since we met at age 12). She said I was being selfish, but I would never put my boyfriend before her party, and I didn't. I could understand if she really wanted to go see him, but she wasn't even going to come to my party just to say hi.

Now of course she laughs at how stupid she was for staying with him, but I was right the whole time. I'm the only person who knows her boyfriend too (new one), so I hardly know him but I was the middle man, once again. They had a huge argument and I know he really cares for her at least so I was being the mediator, trying to get her to listen to him and trying to stay as unbiased as possible. Needless to say, thanks to me they got back together.

What do I get? She never initiates conversation, every time I try it's like a several day wait on a text response or a never-response on Skype, or WoW, or Diablo. I'm probably closer to her parents at this point (at one point, she went to bed one night and I stayed up watching a movie with them, ha).

She came home this weekend and didn't even send me a message. She lives in Florida with the guy I helped her keep.

tl;dr - People will take advantage of you, and sometimes you do all you can to show you care and help and they'll still put you second peg. From experience, it's better to cut them off sooner or later. I wish I kept my promise and never helped her again. I know it sounds awful because I think she's happy with the guy she's with now, but if she's just going to shit on everything I do for her...

I have a really good friend up near me, her boyfriend, and my boyfriend. This is my network. My friend up here already said she wants me to be her maid of honor. So my other friend can shove it for all I care, I have my support, when her boyfriend leaves or she leaves she'll cry to me for the pieces, I don't know if I can put her together anymore.