The thing is.
I didn't complain a lot to my friend. I did tell her a little about how I felt. She was being defensive, so I didn't want to talk about it again. But I actually didn't try a whole lot to solve the problem. It was me having problems with her while she didn't have any problems with my actions. I didn't want to try and changer her to the way I wanted her to be. I don't have the right to do that.
I can only observe her actions. It doesn't mean that I know her intentions. I can't say that she doesn't care for me. It seem like that to me, but I don't know for sure therefore I cannot claim that she doesn't care. I gave up and now I wonder if I should have tried a bit harder. I've know her the longest of all friends.
I worry about opening up to friends. But being like that would be the same as taking friendship too lightly right?
I feel that I always contradict myself with what I think is right and what I want to believe in...