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06-06-2011   #46 (permalink)
Hekutaa
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Default 19: Remorse

Heku boarded a train bound for Außenwelt. He had his face buried in his hands. In a berserk rage, he and Cerise killed countless lives. He even watched his own friends die while he mocked their attempts to defend their country. His anguish became too much to bear, even if meant that he would live eternally as an abomination forced to indiscriminately kill those who wish for unity.
He could not weep. His emotions already escaped him. The emotions that still existed consisted of extreme anger, and the guilt that followed.
Heku did not always act this way. Three years prior, he lived in the town of Da Capo, where his life had been all but extraordinary. He believed in diplomatically solving problems instead of using a sword as an instrument of negotiation. He always spoke a mantra of altruism, rather than mock a dying body and grinding his foot against their broken bones while he tormented them with his forked tongue. Everything changed on that day, December 12th. His friends, his values, even his perception of others changed on that day. On that day, the once kind and serene boy transformed into a heartless machine constructed only to kill. Part of him died that day, and his lack of emotions and his self-loathing obliterated the rest him three years later.
How many people has he killed in cold blood since this day? He could not begin to count how many. He fought through a phalanx of Lumisians, yet his only injury originated from his own questioning of his place in restoring peace in Frostig and the thought of mutilating innocent lives, like a twisted game that he did not wish to partake in. The only he ever suffered emanated from his heart-wrenching pain of killing others like mere ants and the constant questioning of the righteousness of his actions. Every piece of torn flesh before him, every drop of blood smeared on his clothing kept him on the verge of madness. Despite his disdain for violence, he forced himself to heartlessly destroy the Lumisians. His acts of "courage" in the face of "danger" caused him to achieve acclaim to friend and foe alike, yet his experiences began to bore into his mind like a parasite ready to take over a helpless animal.
Heku yearned to kill himself and suffer his sins in the depths of the Inferno after every reprieve he earned. For the last several days before his deranged massacre of the Lumisians, he tried to kill himself by slashing relentlessly at his own wrists, impaling himself with his own icicles, and even tearing out his own flesh with his bare hands. Ironically, his feverish attempts to end his life all failed. What Vaughn told him became true: No matter how hard Heku tried, he would live forever immortal until he fully unifies the broken countries of Frostig.
Heku sat like an abandoned carapace; He felt completely hollow on the inside, yet there existed a skin -remnants of armor, on the outside.
"What have I done?" He asked himself in a mournful tone, his face still buried in his hands.
"Your task." Cerise answered.
She entered the empty train car and sat down next to Heku. She, too became emotionless after she received her otherworldly powers. However, when she gained her abilities, the Lumisians seized her before she knew how to conjure her strength and performed inhuman tests on her. It left her mentally scarred, but it awakened a bloodthirsty demand for revenge.
One of the scientists who proctored the tests went by the name of Vith. He managed to understand Cerise's magical powers and use it to aid the Lumisians. Sir Vith, after the months of brutal testing, moved her to the town of Außenwelt to be executed, yet she managed to break free from her imprisonment. She encountered Heku during her plight, who valiantly and altruistically defended her from the Lumisians. From that day, three years ago, she swore to repay her debt by bighting on the side of the Vesisians.
Her days of testing never escaped her mind. The never-ending screams of agony, the countless needles extracting gallon of blood, and the innumerable scientists "experimenting" with her powers by forcing her to immolate hundreds of prisoners. All of them remained like scars embedded into her mind.
Unlike Heku, who had been so loathing of violence, Cerise swore revenge on those who treated her like an expendable test subject, and even those who bolstered her strength. The Lumisians kept her isolated, never directly spoke to her, treated her like an aberration. Her once serene and curious approach to the world soon transformed into a façade, veiling her wrath to those who mistreated her.
Heku and Cerise sat slumped in their chairs. Heku finally took his hands off his face. Without looking at Cerise, he asked, "Do you think we're still human after everything we've been through?"
"Not anymore." Cerise replied with the same despairing tone.
"Then what are we?"
"Something that should not exist."
The two remained silent. Out from the depths of their self-loathing, they dreamed for a life without their powers. They dreamed for a life of blissful innocence and not a half-life of a bloodthirsty knight. Their hope for a normal reality became a feverish vision to them. The blood of thousands stood in their way before they could even experience their dream for a fraction of a second.
Hours passed until the pair reached Außenwelt. When the train came to a halt, the doors flung open, prompting Heku and Cerise to leave. When the exited the train car, they noticed Kalech and Erina waiting for the two in front of their car.
"Did you play your part?" Kalech asked immediately.
"If you call indiscriminate death a 'part,' then, yes." Heku responded. "Three individuals have survived."
"Why that many?"
"Just to make sure Lumisade gets a fair warning."
Kalech nodded his head in slight agreement. He spoke, "Good work. We're headed to Einfall. Further instruction awaits you there."
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